Doggy Heaven
by Karla ° Wednesday, November 7, 2007
My little brother is getting married soon. I guess that doesn’t make him so little anymore, but he will always be my little brother, even though he was born with the dimensions of a fully uniformed football player. Bless my mother and her poor battered body after that unmedicated birth.

Last weekend there was a celebration taking place for him and his fiancée back in my hometown of Penetanguishene, and this posed some problems around travelling with our great big giant dog, Samson.

Firstly, our ginormously tiny, two door Pontiac Sunfire simply cannot accommodate all of our gear, plus Samson. Plain and simple. Secondly, Samson is a diva and he refuses to contribute financially towards the purchase of a new car on the grounds that he is a spoiled dog. Also, he does not like to be left alone.

I know, I know, you’re thinking; Karla, he’s just a dog for pete's sake! The problem however, isn't so much that he's just a dog, it's that he is a dog with mighty dog teeth, and I have yet to recover from the time that he chewed a corner off of the quilt on my bed that cost almost as much as a mortgage payment.

It’s a good thing I love that dog, immensely, because the glue factory would have been a way cheaper.

Anyhow, Samson has separation anxiety and he deals with his stress by being destructive. This is why we must crate him whenever we leave the house. I don’t like it, but I also don’t like coming home and discovering that my portable phone battery is lost in the nether regions of his colon.

So, because we cannot fit his giant crate in our car, and because he would have been left alone while my entire family was out partying it up at my brother’s pre-wedding party, we decided to board Samson for the night.

Now, Samson likes to play. And I don’t just mean that he likes to run and run and run and act crazy ALL! DAY! LONG! I mean he likes to play, really, REALLY hard. Especially when he is around other dogs.

As soon as we pulled up the kennel, Samson sprouted himself some magic playing wings and from what we were told, his feet barely touch the ground the entire 24 hours that he was there because he was too busy leaping and pouncing and pirouetting in figure eights over, under and on top of the other dogs. And by the entire 24 hours, they meant the entire 24 hours, including the hours between the time that all of the dogs were ready to get some sleep to ALL THE DOGS BUT SAMSON WERE FINALLY READY TO GET SOME SLEEP.

If there is such thing as doggy heaven, then Samson found it.

When we went to pick him up the next day, he could barely move. Instead of his usual exuberant greeting of hopping in concentric circles around my person and pelting me with his hypersonically swift tail, he completely ignored me, made a beeline for the back door, went outside, had the biggest dump I have ever seen, and then collapsed in heap on the floor, where he remained for the rest of they day.

I guess the saying is right. A tired dog IS a good dog.


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I 'll never forget the first time our dog came back from being boarded at a place where they get to run free and play like that-I actually thought she had broken her tail because she was so damn tired she could barely lift or wag it! It was amazing.
Posted by Anonymous Shalini :  November 07, 2007

Spencer is like that when he comes home from an extended stay at my parents'. Their Jack Russel-Shitzu cross, Barney, runs laps around Spencer and the two of them wrestle and play almost non-stop. Nearing double digits in people years, that doggie is Tirrree-d when he gets home!
Posted by Anonymous Carly :  November 07, 2007

WHEW, I thought this was going to be a sad story, what with the title and the boarding of Samson and all.

So glad it had a happy ending.
Posted by Anonymous Anonymous :  November 07, 2007

I can picture it! I'm glad he wasn't sad or missing you. That's my worry about leaving my dog. Maybe he can take some retreats to doggy heaven while you stay home, lol.
Posted by Blogger Julia :  November 07, 2007

...nether regions of his colon...

I am laughing soooo hard. I am glad he is OK. And I guess he enjoyed himself!!!

My dog has separation anxiety, too. She stays oustide while we are at work and I hire a dog sitter to come to the house when we go out of town. Sadly, there isn't a doggy day care like the one you described in my town, because I think she would love that.

P.S. The tail! Mine is a lab mix and the tail is crazy. I swear she has no feeling in it, with the way she wacks everything and doesn't even notice.
Posted by Anonymous Olivia :  November 08, 2007

Karla you are hilarious and your writing is so descriptive. I can picture everything you just wrote LOVE IT!! I have a black lab that as a puppy was destructive and hated being left alone also. She chewed the whole corner of our area rug and couch pillows one time. So we thought ok next time we go out just leave her in the back yard. We lived in Arizona then and the weather is beautiful. Well we came back to find our trampoline enclosure gone and the padding to the springs chewed to smithereens Yeah, labs are fun hahah.. I am happy to say at 5 years old she is a great dog and is smart. Well ok sneaky a bit too. She is not allowed on our furniture due to the shedding UGH. So when we go to sleep at night her butt gets on our couch. We hear her slide off and hit the floor when ever we come down the steps. And the dog hair on the couch kinda gives her away.
Posted by Anonymous Karen :  November 08, 2007


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