'Tis the season
by Karla ° Thursday, December 4, 2008
I’ve been feeling a bit at a loss these days when it comes to writing, because, well, everything I write here is a personal truth and for the most part, I’m so totally fine with my life being an open book. But when it comes to my family, it’s always so hard to know how to put certain things into words when there are firm boundaries to respect, you know?

And here we are, officially reigning in on the season to deck the halls and be merry, but between having a brother that has basically disappeared off of the phone and family radar and having to make difficult and ill-received decisions around Nate’s asthma, I’m stuck in a big ass sombre-hued cloud of frustration.

And because I’m too frustrated to write, and even if I could, I can’t (see above re: boundaries), I’ve been burying my disappointment in shopping malls decked in a riot of red and green-hued decorations and budget-busting size 25 waist wide leg jeans paired with colourful scarves with a hint of Parisian flair.

There may also have been a purchase of a new fancy pants smartphone and more additions to my already abundant collection of hoodies and yoga pants because lets face it, the good old days of tweed-suited adult boardroom conversations won’t be happening anytime soon. God, I can barely remember what a perfectly hemmed pair of pin-stripped pants looks like and I may as well be comfortable when I’m up to my eyeballs in neon-haired PlayDoh creatures, you know?

Fuck. Trying to do what you believe is the right thing isn’t always easy. I kind of want to run away somewhere warm and sip fruity cocktails with cute little umbrella’s pool-side. That may have been an option, except I just totally blew the budget on my own pity party shopping spree.

The new jeans were so worth it, though.

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Karla ~ you are always so open and truthful and I for one am grateful for that ~ but there is a fine line that we all have to walk where families are concerned and it is hard ~ I know exactly where you are coming from!!
From what you wrote in one of your previous posts ~ I know that this must be a hard time for your family and especially your brother ~ I hope that things look a bit brighter with time!!

Onto other things ~ the jeans sound just great ~ I am with you on the comfortable clothes part ~ I have just had a major meltdown ~ I am going on a night out tomorrow night and have realised that I have nothing that is suitable ~ unless I go in jogging pants and a hoodie!! What I do have doesn't fit anymore ~ due to losing almost 5 stone (70 pounds) since April ~ so it is a very sorry state of affairs here tee hee!!
I think I need a trip to the clothes shops tomorrow ~ to avert a Christmas Party clothes disaster!!
Take care and keep smiling
love and hugs Tabitha XXXXX
Posted by Blogger Tabitha :  December 04, 2008

Must see the new jeans! Also: Size 25?! I used to be a 25! (weeps)
Am working on being there again :)
Posted by Anonymous Hilary :  December 04, 2008

Good for you, Karla! New jeans are always worth it, I believe- especially when they make my ass look nice. :) Thank you for sharing your life with us. ~ Jenny in Colorado
Posted by Anonymous Anonymous :  December 04, 2008

I totally understand about family problems and worries ~ i have family members who don't talk to me and walk past me in the street. It's so difficult. You are not alone and i will be thinking about you.
But retail therapy always does it for me too!!!
I'm glad you treated yourself ~ you are worth it!!
Amanda x
Posted by Blogger Amanda :  December 04, 2008

Just this, I get it.
Oh, and this: hugs.
Posted by Blogger Amanda :  December 04, 2008

I just love your blog. I'm a new reader and last night I read the whole thing. I found your first blog and laughed and had joy right along with you and my heart broke the minute I read the end of it. It was a rollercoaster ride of emotions to read it, and that you survived all that and now have a beautiful blessing of a son--you are the strongest woman. I admire you so much and hope all the best for you and want you to know your precious Ava will always be remembered.

Best wishes for finding some peace this holiday season, even if it is in the shopping malls. Thinking of you and your family...


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