Surprise
by Karla ° Tuesday, August 5, 2008
Whenever Mark is on holidays, some rather notable changes take place in our home. Like, for example, the sudden disappearance of every cup in the cupboard, only to have them reappear in various indiscriminate locations all over the house. Like on top of the toilet for example. You know, in places one would totally expect to find half-empty glasses of water.

We usually run the dishwasher every other day. And by we, I mean me, but since Mark’s been home, that machine (bless its automated dishwashing soul) has been run every single day. Now, I grew up in a very frugal household, and because my family did not even have the means to waste money on extra drops of dish soap, I was taught to reuse the same water glass for an entire day. And you know, I still do this today. But not because I can’t afford dish soap. I’m just too lazy about emptying the never-ending pile of dishes in the dishwasher.

My mom also taught me to never to use the same knife in the jelly jar that had just been dipped into the peanut butter jar, but whenever my mom visits, watching the look of horror spread across her face as I prepare my morning bagel is so worth living with peanut butter tainted jelly.

I was also taught to clip coupons, but after a while, I just found the task of spending Sunday afternoons diligently sifting through stacks of flyers to save ten cents off of a bottle of brand name ketchup a waste of time when all I have to do to save that money is hide all the treats in the house on Mark instead. And besides, I don’t have a problem with no name ketchup, especially since, you know, I don’t even eat it. And Mark, don’t think I can’t see you cringing as you read this because I know how much you love to saturate your hamburgers in nothing but soppy piles of ketchup. Just remember that when we took our wedding vows and promised to love each other unconditionally, it’s not my problem you forgot to include splurging on brand name condiments as a caveat to that oath. Perhaps this Sunday instead of a surprise blowjob you’d like to clip coupons together instead?

Oh wait, never mind, this Sunday I will busy doing seventeen loads of laundry in addition to my usual never-ending pile of weekly loads because Mark and I cannot seem to agree on a general sock wearing consensus. After Nate has a bath, I’m happy to have him finish the day wearing the same pair of socks that he started it with. Mark on other hand, insists a squeaky clean kid needs freshly laundered clothes. Including socks.

Which, you know, I can totally live with. I’ll just be too busy washing socks to give that surprise blowjob.

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Comments:


I have to agree with Mark - any clothes on after a bath must be fresh clean clothes...
At least though you can get socks on your kid. All three of my kids only wear socks when necessary - otherwise they pull them off and are bare footed. Even during the winter!!!!!

Wendy
Posted by Anonymous Anonymous :  August 05, 2008
 

I'm with you on all of this, actually. If the socks aren't dirty, wear them again. Generic products are just as cheap if not cheaper than a name brand with coupon. I use the same water glass sometimes for a couple of days and always use the same knife for jelly and butter. No dishwasher means I like to the the number of dishes to wash to a minimum.
Posted by Anonymous Olivia :  August 06, 2008
 

A girl's gotta have priorities, after all...

Graham leaves cups and mugs all over the house too.
Posted by Blogger Assertagirl :  August 06, 2008
 

My step dad leaves mugs on the bench RIGHT ABOVE the dishwasher. Opening the dishwasher door would be far too hard, of course.

You are hilarious.

And what a shame for Mark that you'll be so busy washing piles upon piles of Nate's-only-five-minutes-ago-freshly-laundered clothes. If only he thought differently! Oh well.

Have a beautiful day.
 

-I reuse the same water glass for a day or two, but since my cat has a tendency to stick his ENTIRE face in my water from time to time, I have to find clever places to hide my glass. Sometimes I forget where I left it.

-Clipping coupons makes me so, so happy. Unforch, I loath supermarkets, and end up going to Trader Joe's instead, where they don't accept coupons.

Cute post. "Surprise blowjob" made me giggle.
Posted by Blogger Georgia :  August 06, 2008
 

I have this image in my head of Mark rushing around the house ~ collecting up all the washing ~ so that he doesn't miss his suprise ha ha !!!
Posted by Blogger Tabitha :  August 06, 2008
 

My husband leaves glasses everywhere - Men!
Posted by Anonymous Anonymous :  August 06, 2008
 

Too funny. I read this to my husband and he asked if I was trying to give him a hint to wash some socks...LOL!
Posted by Blogger Candi :  August 07, 2008
 

Hilarious!!
 

do you remember way back when amalah had that great blog debate about which way you should put toilet paper on the roll?

I feel like this is exactly the same. AND DUDE YOU TOTALLY HAVE TO CHANGE THE SOCKS!
 

This is hilarious. I tried to talk my bf into letting me be a stay-at-home-gf (not mom, not wife, just a stay at home girlfriend) with the promise of daily blowjobs. Sadly for him, he chose to have me keep working.Anyway, too bad they have their priorities wrong!
Posted by Anonymous Hilary :  August 07, 2008
 

I am a energy saver as well, I use the same glass for a day or two and usually the same bath towel for the week. My dishwasher has to be packed full for it to be put on. If my son wore socks to bed then I would have a pair only for bed, he wears the same pjs for a week unless he spills or sweats a lot. I save the brand name bottle and refill with no name, sometimes my DH notices but for the most part he doesn't complain. I usually buy nn whereever possible without depriving myself but also clip coupons mostly for diapers/wipes personal hygene(sp).
Posted by Blogger Michelle S. :  August 08, 2008
 

The only thing domestic about me is I live in a house. If they can't wear the same socks for a week, they should move out! The damn socks only touch the floor and the floor is dirty. It's not like they eat with their feet, wait.. I forgot to do dishes..dinner is on the floor..go change your socks!
 

Kudos to you. I can't even get my kids to wear their underwear/diapers, much less socks! It's all I can do to beg them to get dressed whenever we leave the house!
Posted by Blogger Christi :  August 11, 2008
 


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