Sickness and the Pseudo-Single Parent
by Karla ° Thursday, January 22, 2009
It is the calm part of the day. First thing in the morning, Jr's top priority is to sit and talk to his toys. He's good for at least half an hour. Picking up pieces of fluff off the carpet and holding them up to show me. Sitting with his ankles crossed happily talking to his sunglasses.

Yesterday was a hard day. Hubby has been away all week and I came down with some kind of illness. I spent most of the afternoon and evening curled up on the floor beside Jr trying to stay awake. Slipping off briefly to wake up in a minor panic to find him chewing on a wrench he found god-knows-where. Moving hurt, all noise shook through me like icy daggers. I was wearing two sets of sweat pants and sweat shirts and still blew hot air into my hands. Thankfully Jr went to bed at 7:30 and I was able to sleep soon after.

Being a pseudo-single parent is not easy. I have a husband, I see him on weekends, he makes money so I don't have to work. It is the arrangement that works best for us. Though all situations come with sacrifice. Like last night, when having another parent home would have made my life easier. Most weeks he is gone Monday to Friday. I get through the week waiting for the glorious weekends when he takes the morning shift and allows me to sleep in (once I even saw 8:30!!!). Hats off to real single parents, the ones who don't get a break on weekends, or ever. The ones who have to work and look after kids, be it sick or well.

Unfortunately this weekend he works, his job makes me like I never win. His schedule is random, and changes often. I've gotten used to it, but being sick makes it shitty. He is hundreds of miles away, unable to do much more than listen.

I feel a bit better now, the handfuls of Tylenol are making a difference, one layer of sweat pants was able to come off.

Has it been a half hour already? I should get back to being a Mom. Thanks for stopping by while Karla has been away, you have all been so nice.

Bye for now - B

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Comments:


You say it's an arrangement that works well for the both of you, yet in karla's blog she talks about you being pregnant by another man. You're lucky your husband comes around on weekends. You deserve to be a single mother. I lost my husband in Iraq and I loved and cherished him and NEVER strayed even though he was gone for 9 months at a time. I don't deserve to be a single parent, my 3 kids don't deserve to not have a daddy, and youre complaining t hat you have the flu and your husband is only home on weekends. You have some nerve. You shouldn't be blogging here.
Posted by Anonymous Anonymous :  January 22, 2009
 

Being a parent is the hardest job there is. I am in complete awe of people who do it -- don't know if I would be strong enough to do it right. (You can't take a sick day from your kids!) I hope you feel better soon, Karla.
Posted by Blogger Dawn :  January 22, 2009
 

Ah wow I agree with you. My hubby travels a bit with his job and wow I agree with you...parenting is hard no matter what...single parenting would have to be the hardest thing ever!
Posted by Anonymous Anonymous :  January 22, 2009
 

I am a single Mum ~ and it is hard ~ I was ill last week ~ so I can totally understand where you are coming from ~ I can cope with most things, but when I am ill ~ everything seems so much worse and I have a complete meltdown ha ha !!
But ~ we cope !!
I don't think it matters if you are a single parent all the time or in the week only ~ it is hard!!
I hope that you are feeling a bit better soon and that your hubby will be back soon to give you a break!!
It is great to have you here while Karla is away ~ do you have a blog of your own ~ I would definitly be a follower!!
Take care ~ love and big hugs Tabitha XXXXXXX
Posted by Blogger Tabitha :  January 22, 2009
 

To the first anonymous:

Sorry you lost your husband. But why are you being a bitch, cast judgement on someone you don't know, and have the nerve to say they deserve ill will against them?

What is that saying? "People who live in glass houses shouldn't throw stones..."
Posted by Anonymous Anonymous :  January 23, 2009
 

I am the first anonymous. I am being a botch bc she wants to bitch about how she is ill and her husband only comes home for the weekends. Well guess what with her recently being pregnant by another man she is lucky to have him coming home to her at all. She has no right to complain about being a pseudo single parent bc her husband is off working to support her cheating ass, in the meaantime people who actually love their significant others enough not to be so tupid are losing them left and right to stupid shit. I just feel that with her situation she has no right to complain.
Posted by Anonymous Anonymous :  January 23, 2009
 

Anonymous are basing a lot of your "hate" on facts you have fabricated in your head. I was never pregnant by another man, and my husband and I were separated during the time I was with someone else.

For you to imply that I don't love my husband is an insult. He is a great man and even better father, and like everyone we went through a rough patch.

It isn't fair that your husband who you love was taken from you, and it isn't fair that I had to leave my husband to know that he is my soul mate.

No one is perfect, we all have demons and skeletons. I can't fully understand your grief and frustration, but I can assure you I thank my lucky stars everyday for what I have.


- B
Posted by Anonymous Anonymous :  January 23, 2009
 

In Anonymous' defense, Karla's entry that is being referred too was quite misleading. I too was under the impression that you were pregnant and there was another man involved. These two things written together they way they were with nothing being said of a separation and no follow up did lead us to believe you were with another man and got pregnant.
Perhaps a little more clarity or a follow up next time.
Posted by Anonymous Anonymous :  January 23, 2009
 

Oh B....just ignore these bored anonymous commenters. Hun, everyone has reasons for things that happen in their relationships with hubby and with their children. It is none of our business too judge. You remember that whether you're a single Mom monday-friday or a single mom 7 days a week, it is hard and grueling either way and one single parent has no right to judge the situation of another parent who may be in a similar but different scenario.
I'm glad you blogged on here, I wasn't about to judge you because I don't know you or your situation...it's just nice to hear what your day was like. It's the same for Karla, I don't know her but I love to hear her stories and feelings. That's what blogging is about.
Furthermore, I know you feel the urge and anger to respond to childish, unwanted comments but trust me, it's not worth the time. Some people are just angry people. Some people are just bored. I think Karla knows a thing or two about that.
You should really create your own blog!
Anyways you take care and remember that you and your husband are your own, and no one especially someone who only knows you through a couple words on the internet can judge you.
Thanks for the posting!
Posted by Anonymous Krystle :  January 23, 2009
 

Guys..

I'm a long-time reader of Karla's Blogs, and I rarely, if ever post comments.

However... I'm sure the LAST thing Karla wants going on is drama and arguments. Let's just enjoy her blog, and respect her "guests" please.

What ever happened to what we teach our children.. "If you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all".

Let's not taint Karla's amazing blog with nonsense and argument.

<3 Mindy
Posted by Anonymous Anonymous :  January 23, 2009
 

It's not fun being ill especially when you have little ones to care for ~ i have 4 boys and my hubby works long hours too.
But i hope you are all better soon!
love,
Amanda x
Posted by Blogger Amanda :  January 23, 2009
 

B,
Is it safe to say you aborted the baby mentioned in the post? Did an innocent tiny little human life have to end for your thoughtlesness?
Posted by Anonymous Anonymous :  January 23, 2009
 

I know I shouldn't say anything else, but I feel that Karla will be highly upset to see that her readers are being so cruel to a guest blogger whom she considers a close friend.
What the anonymous above just wrote is disgusting, all of those who have said such terrible, mean words should be ashamed.
These posts should be left for people to read who want to hear about the words a Mom has to share.
I completely agree with not saying anything unless you have something nice to say.
Don't worry about these people B, I know you are stronger than that!
Take care!
Posted by Anonymous Krystle :  January 23, 2009
 

Hi, My name is Luisa Fernanda Im from Guatemala, I saw Ava´s video... and you have stayed in my heart since then, it was great read that you already have a baby, CONGRATULATIONS! Makes me happy that you are happy. I would like to be your friend. lfer1060@yahoo.com.mx
 

Life is complicated. Blogs help us to learn about other peoples experiences in life, to teach us lessons and to provide us perspective. Each person's experiences and the ways they choose to deal with them are unique, which is what makes reading about peoples lives so interesting. Openly judging and chastising people is less than helpful. My father died in an accident when I was young. My brothers and I will likely spend the greater parts of our adult lives learning not to judge my mother for her inability to cope, and eventually taking her own life. Even when you feel you have all of the pertinent information at hand, judging others simply isn't a helpful part of the process. Learning how others cope with the experiences they have may be. I guess it all depends on what you want to get out of this great big adventure we call life, and what kind of mark you want to leave on your children, others, this world.
Posted by Anonymous Anonymous :  January 23, 2009
 

The offending anonymous commenter here is revolting. First, you don't know a damned thing about B's story. Secondly, you're hijacking Karla's comments with your bitterness and invective. I rarely comment here and am dismayed that Karla will have to come back to see this behavior towards a friend of hers. What was supposed to be a fun guest post has turned into something ugly and it's a damned shame that there are people that feel they have to judge others based on one or two vague lines that they've read (and think they've understood) in the past.

Keep smiling B.
Posted by Blogger sky girl :  January 23, 2009
 

i completely agree.i rarely post but felt compelled to say that those nasty, bitter comments are completely uncalled for. You dont even know this girls' name and you feel you can judge her life? do you really have nothing better to do than to comment on things you clearly know sod all about? I think it is you who has some nerve.
Posted by Anonymous Anonymous :  January 27, 2009
 

wow the first lady with the husband who died in Iraq is bitter and mean. I'm sorry your husband died in Iraq- and I'm sorry for all the people that have died in Iraq. But your husband chose to enlist, therefore knowing the risks. Just because your husband died, it doesn't give you an excuse to insult or judge. With that kind of attitude, perhaps you deserve to be a single parent. Go have a pitty party elsewhere. bybyebaby
Posted by Anonymous Anonymous :  January 28, 2009
 


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