I have never mentioned this before, but I do a lot of writing for various grief publications.

I haven’t mentioned it because I am rather new to the whole freelance market and part of me is nervous about putting a label on something that I enjoy doing so much because that means that I am actually expected to be good at it.

There is something very satisfying about being published in a glossy magazine and I am always completely awestruck when someone takes the time to write to me to share their intimate and painful memories, but because of the nature of the work that has been published, there is also something very heart wrenching about being so aware of the depths of someone’s pain.

I think of my own story of infant loss and miscarriage and often seethe in anger at the wretchedness of the Universe and what an unfair hand I have been dealt, but then I will receive an eye opening email like the one I received from a woman who gave birth to, and lost, three full term babies. She has no living children and her pain immediately put a frame on my perspective.

Just the other day I received an email from someone who has underwent years of fertility treatments and miscarriages before finally conceiving a child only to lose her sweet baby girl after carrying her and in her womb for 38 weeks. And when she finally mustered up the courage to try again, the Universe decided she had not endured enough and she had another miscarriage. After reading her story I sat on the floor cradling Nate and cried for a very long time.

It makes me wonder how much devastation one human could possibly handle.

Surely there is only so much bending that one can do before they break? And yet, each and every piece of mail that I read is a true testament to the brilliant resilience of humanity and the power of hope.

I know I have said this before, but I truly believe that hope is what binds the tapestry of humanity and each of us represents a thread carefully woven and interconnected in an intricate blueprint of strength and survival.

So to everyone who has reached out and shared with me your journey of loss, thank you so much for touching my heart and sharing with me the memory of your children, your husbands, your fathers, your mothers and your siblings. The imprints that their memories have left on my heart are deep and the impact that you have had on me and how much I appreciate life is profound.

Labels: Grief and Loss, Thinking Out Loud