It's a Tough Life for the Pooch
by Karla ° Sunday, April 29, 2007
I took Samson to the doctors for his annual exam this weekend and he is probably the only dog on the planet who loves the vet’s office despite the surgery he endured because there are humans.

Real live humans with warm crotches to nuzzle.

And for Samson, there is nothing better on this earth than crotch poking, except maybe a slice of cheese and then a crotch poke.

As you can imagine, being out in public is the best thing ever for Samson because there is a whole world of crotches out there to sniff. And that is just what he did to every person who stopped to pat him on the head while we waited to see the vet. I know that’s just what dogs do, but Samson seems to enjoy it to the excess and I never quite know what to do when I’m standing beside a stranger who is trying to shove Samson’s head out of their genitals. Usually they give an excuse like, “He must smell my cat”, but deep down I know he just really likes to sniff their crotch and then I feel awkward.

The doctor asked if I had any concerns, and my only concern was that I was wrongfully under the impression that when his nutsacks were sent to the testicle chop shop, he would magically turn into a mellow dog that liked casual strolls in the park and lying perfectly still for me to use him as my movie pillow. But as it turns out, being sans balls must feel very liberating because at 1 ½ years old, he is still a blundering dynamo of potent vitality.

Recently though, he has started to do something that completely eludes us. He will fill his mouth with kibble from his dish, and then spit them out at Mark’s feet and he won’t eat them again until we give him the “take it” command. I think he may be displaying some form of jealousy or demonstrating his understanding of the new pack order in the family, but I’m not a dog whisperer or anything, I’m just one of the sniffable crotches around here, so what do I know.

I think it’s cute, but I’m worried about his self esteem. I can’t have an 80lb dog being all down in the dumps and depressed because he isn't my BFF anymore. There's no way I can sling him and Nate on my hips and carry them both around all day.

Has anyone ever had dogs that have done something like this, or know what he could possibly be telling us?


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I have a dog who is very needy. As a puppy, she had seperation anxiety. Whenever we left the house, she would shake violently. Then she started ripping up the carpet in front of the door. Then she started eating all our shoes. She only displayed this behavior when we were gone. She was a perfect angel when we were home. Over time, she got better and better. She no longer destroys our house when we leave.

However when Porgie was born, some new problems developed. She is now afraid of her water dish and food bowl. She perfers to drink water off of the deck, but will drink from her water bowl when she is really thirsty. Also, she refuses to eat her food from the bowl. She picks up a mouth full of food, and carries it into the livingroom to eat. Sometimes she drops the food on the floor and refuses to eat it. We have tried redirecting her, but it only seems to make the problem worse. Personally, I think she is acting out for attention - in a weird and neurotic way.

So, we have decided to ingore her behavior for now. The more we responded to her, the more insane she was becoming.

This probably isn't much help. Sorry.
Posted by Blogger Christy :  April 29, 2007

Ahhh... our big dog "Jack" used to LOVE the vets office. LOVE IT.

He would be jumping around in the back of the minivan to get out, would almost pull me a million miles an hour to race to the door. Would pee on the vets office floor out of his excitement!

He loved the attention, he loved all other humans, animals... but he especially loved that they gave him lots of yummy TREATS!

For NO REASON AT ALL. Just cuz he would wag his tail... they plied him with milkbone after milkbone.

He was so easily swayed. LOL.
Posted by Blogger aka_Meritt :  April 29, 2007

Quote of the week:
I’m just one of the sniffable crotches around here, so what do I know.

My guess would be he wants to do something that pleases you, and since you are pleased when he follows commands, he wants to follow the take command. Dropped the food at your feet is giving you an opportunity to command him. Surely he thinks about these things, right?
Posted by Blogger Julia :  April 29, 2007

Looks like Samson is smileing in this picture!! WAY to freakin cute..I agree with Julia, He is just trying to please you and maybe get some extra cheese or a crotch sniff in!!
Southern Belle
Posted by Anonymous Anonymous :  April 29, 2007

My boy friend DOES think that he is the dog whisperer and is insane when it comes to understanding this stuff. From what I understand Samson is actually doing a good thing in that he understands the pecking order and is showing Matl he knows he's the "alpha" as Josh would refer to it. Albeit irritating at first, he isn't going to starve and he's actually showing you respect in a way that many people try to train their dogs. I can see how the spitting the kibbles may be a bit much for you though. Anyway, just the input from someone he is "dog-whispered out."
Posted by Blogger Lindz :  April 29, 2007

Almost ROTFLing over this post -- very funny stuff. BTW when we have taken Molly to romp in the park with the other dogs, the boys continuously try to hump her despite the fact that all are fixed. The airdales are really randy fellows. Great picture BTW.
Posted by Blogger Anvilcloud :  April 29, 2007

weird most dogs HATE the vet!! hahaha hmmm there must be a lil bit of jelously, either that or he likes the attention when u tell him "take it"
Posted by Blogger rachael :  April 29, 2007

I have an 8 year old dog and a 8 month old little girl. When she was about 6 months our dog peed in her glider in her room. That made it pretty obvious that he wasn't liking his new status in the house. Now that she is more active and into him I think they are developing a friendship or at least I hope. Needless to say he no longer has the run of the house while we are out.
Posted by Anonymous Mandy :  April 29, 2007

Our "spoiled perfect" Oakley places 1-2 pieces of doggie food on the living room carpet before he partakes in the whole bowl. We noticed he started this when his "girlfriend"(neighbors dog) kept guard of her food bowl and thoughtfully placed 1 piece of her food in front of him at a time. I think he orginally was gobbling up all her goodies and left her to starve for the remainder of the day. We have been working on being more of a Gentleman.

What we did notice - which kinda tripped us out- is when we returned from the hospital w/out baby. Oakley was visibly saddened, his eyes looked so dull. (they normally sparkle, it is a publically noticeable trait)

We all spent 2 days in bed mourning that first week. I was awoken one night by Oakley "literally" crying in his sleep. Totally different sound then his typical night wimpers. It took him about two weeks to get back to himself.

He is the best "boy". :)
(no offense Samson)
Posted by Blogger Samantha :  April 29, 2007

First of all, larger dog mature much slower than smaller dogs. Your fourlegged friend is probably not going to mellow much for another year, but by about 3 he should become a much more snuggly and cuddly dog. Some dogs never do get snuggly, but judging from that photo, I don’t think that’s going to be a problem here.
Although I agree with Lindz in that Samson is deferring to Matt as alpha, the recent behavior change sounds like Samson is now questioning his place in his “pack”. This is fairly common when introducing a newborn in a home with an established dog. The fact that he recognizes your hubby as still alpha is a very good sign, though.
Posted by Blogger methatiam :  April 30, 2007

Our black lab calmed down when he was about 10 years old. ;)
Posted by Blogger Julia :  April 30, 2007

Rolo was quite melancholy for the first 3 months after Avelyn was born. But he just kind of moped and other different behaviours. He's adjusted now and is only mildly annoyed when the 9 month old is yanking on his tail and rubbing cracker crumbs into his fur. :) I'm sure Samson will find his "new normal" in good time.
Posted by Blogger Amanda Brown :  April 30, 2007

I don't have any answers for ya on the dog front..but I just had to say I rolled with laughter reading your post about the crotch sniffing. Too funny!!!

The only thing I can say is be happy that it is only dry kibble the dog is ralphing up at your husband's feet.
I had a dog that used to have an accident in the house while I was at work, eat it for shame and then throw it back up on my bed. After nine hours at the office I'd return home to a stinking slick of vomited up dog crap right on my pillow. Now that's love.
Posted by Blogger cce :  April 30, 2007


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