Putting the Ass Back in Class - September 2007 Edition
by Karla ° Monday, September 10, 2007
Something that I find extremely amusing is the type of searches that land people on my website. And sometimes I have no idea how they end up here. Like, I do not have the slightest clue what to do if there is a squished a bug in your vagina, but apparently google considers me knowledgable on this matter.

And also on other topics like:

"why the fuck are car seats so huge?"
It never occurred to me curse at a search engine. Because this is exactly what I said to Mark when we were trying to find a car seat to fit our car. If I had known you could cuss at Google, we probably would have saved a ton of time.

"pretending to be blind on weekends"
At first I was like, who does that? But then I started thinking about how funny it would be to pretend Samson is my Seeing Eye dog and watch all the surprised looks on people’s faces as he bulldozed his way through a crowded market and then led me into oncoming traffic.

"freakiest women nipples"
You should see them now that my son has teeth.

"pink eye caused by farts"
I knew there was a better explanation than herpes.

I am now officially blaming Mark for that pesky virus that keeps giving my cats pink eye.

"waking up in unexplained wet clothes at canadian hotels"
It’s hard to keep our igloos from melting this time of year. Many of us find wearing rubber pants helpful.

"bondage balloons"
Sometimes I put on a clown suit and then and make Mark wear one. We are normal like that.

"are those your balls on my face"
Why yes! I put them there especially for you. And it kind of tickles.

"inflated my uterus with an air pump - bizarre"
That might be bizarre, but have you ever sprained your uterus?


Humour me some more.

What sort of strange searches have you had?


PS - I added a new menu at the top of this page. Would you be so kind as to let me know if anything has exploded on your end? I am notoriously anal about these things and will not sleep until I know that it works in every damn browser ever invented over all time. Except maybe netscape. What ever happened to them anways?

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"Except maybe netscape. What ever happened to them anways?"

They are now called Mozilla and they make Firefox.
Posted by Anonymous Anonymous :  September 10, 2007

Wow, pretty interesting.

My searches are definitely not so interesting!
Posted by Blogger Donna :  September 10, 2007

I've had some interesting ones, but none as strange as yours. My favourite is 'evil tv outburst'. I'm wondering what happened in that persons house to make them want to look further into the subject. Poltergeists, maybe?

But my favourite one isn't funny at all. 'Things that make me proud'.
Posted by Anonymous Jen O. :  September 10, 2007

I had ' how can I look up rude things without my mum finding out?' which made me laugh. I get way too many ' little boys' which does not make laugh. The idea of perverts looking for little boys and coming to my blog, well that makes me want to scream a whole lot.

The wierdest thing I ever saw from someone searching my blog was "Evander Holyfield's huge c#ck".

I mean... wierd is wierd, but that's really specific, and what makes anyone think I'm an expert on Holyfield's crank?


I get a lot of stuff about nipples, babies sucking breasts, the various weeks of pregnancy, crowning babies (which I don't get since I had a c-section and don't think I've said anything about crowning), panty liners. I haven't said anything about any of those topics in months but still that's what I get sent. Also, a picture of me nursing Baby gets a lot of hits on Google Images.
Posted by Blogger Eva :  September 10, 2007

Your menu works fine for me, so Mozilla's good to go.

I'm scared to see what searches lead to me, but I'm guessing nothing quite as entertaining as yours.
Posted by Blogger Christi :  September 10, 2007

Ha ha! Those are so funny.

We get some weird ones. I wonder why we got "Trixie Belden Nancy Drew rivalry" on one hand and then stuff like "ass torture" on the other. Unfortunately, our blog name draws some pretty gross search terms.
Posted by Blogger H :  September 10, 2007

Hahaha! The car seat one cracks me up as my hubby and I have been going through the SAME thought process.. Yay for being able to swear at Google!!

My favorite ones have to do with my boobs! :-)

"conscious of my breasts" I sure am!!

"size 12 38dd 24 years" Now I'm 27, a size 14/16, and have 36L boobs. I've changed a bit.

"enormous 38dd sweater" I don't know why anyone would want to look for an enormous sweater but there are no pictures of my 36dd's on my blog anywhere. Sorry to disappoint those that are looking.

Thanks for the laugh Karla!
Posted by Blogger Brandy :  September 11, 2007


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