When Machines Take Over
by Karla ° Tuesday, October 9, 2007
You know that saying, when it rains, it pours?

I swear it doesn’t matter what is going on in your life, when times are quiet, they are quiet. And during times when things start to fall apart, all of your appliances decide to crumble and die at the same time.

First it was our vacuum. Then it was our oven and stove. And for the sake of consistency, our dishwasher and garage door opener jumped on the machine death bandwagon and are all dead now, too.

That being said, our oven is very old. I’m quite certain that it’s powered off gunpowder and steam. And since I am flat out of gunpowder, I have no idea how to make it work anymore.

Our dishwasher is also very old. So old in fact, that if I had to hazard a guess, I would bet that it has been around since before the dawn of civilization. And although this creates a paradox around why the dishwasher came before the humans, I wouldn’t put it past the dinosaurs that they were just as lazy as I am. Especially considering the clean up involved after ripping the limbs off your prey for dinner. That’s hardcore. I bet that’s when Bleach was invented, too.

Basically, our dishwasher is nothing more than a glorified food washing machine because it can take up to three cycle runs to clean the dishes inside of it. And if it wasn’t for Samson poking his great big giant dog head inside of its ancient racks and licking remnant food morsels off the plates, I bet it would take four or more runs to get our dishes clean.

We do not live in a lavish home. Nor a grand one. It is small and modest and it keeps us dry and warm, but for the love of modern day amenities, I am trying to remember what life was like before a machine washed my dishes for me.

It all must have been very traumatic because try as I may and try as I might, those memories have been permanently erased from my mind.

The only logical conclusion to be drawn here is that the machines have infiltrated the region of my brain where impulses to be lazy are transmitted. Until I can figure out how to bypass these uncontrollable urges to be lazy, my new appliances; particularly my shiny new dishwasher, arrive Monday.

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Comments:


Wheee! New appliances are so fun!

Until they're not new anymore, and then they're just boring.
Posted by Blogger Gina :  October 09, 2007
 

Yay! You will LOVE having a new dishwasher. I love mine. I can put dishes in that still have food on them and they come out all clean and shiny just like on the commercials!
Posted by Blogger Jeninacide :  October 09, 2007
 

forget the new appliances just get a whole new house!
 

We've had some appliances go at the same time too. What I can't understand is why almond-colored fridge with faux wood door handles won't bite it already! We recently had to get a new dryer and I asked Ken why it couldn't have been the fridge? I mean, sometimes a new appliance IS exciting....but a dryer? No, they all do the same thing--dry your clothes! So instead of checking out those new fridges with the side by side doors with the wide shelves and the freezer down below, we had to look at...dryers. Boring I tell you! With the sad state of your current dishwasher, I am sure that the new one WILL be exciting.
Posted by Blogger Colleen :  October 09, 2007
 

This seems to always happen to us about three months before we are going to move. Just enough time that it is annoying/impossible to go without the appliances and just little enough time that buying new ones hardly seems worth it.
It is almost like the appliances infect each other.
Posted by Blogger Chantelle :  October 10, 2007
 

Thanks for the laugh, you have a great sense of humor. I grew up washing dishes, never had a machine until after I was married. Almost makes getting married worth it. ;-)
Posted by Blogger Scott :  October 11, 2007
 

*big sigh* .. been there... AM there...
 

I am completely anal about my dishes. I am the only person allowed to wash them in our house (which truly does suck, but I can't help it). If you rinse the dishes off first, and get the food off, then you will have no problem. All of my dishes look brand spanking new b/c I am very, VERY particular about this. I have a FIT when Trey's mom comes to town and washes them for me, and I have to rewash every single one she does! My grandma bought the best of the best dishwashers b/c she couldn't get the food to come off, and guess what, it doesn't do it any better!
Posted by Blogger Christi :  October 12, 2007
 


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