by Karla ° Monday, October 6, 2008
I get that making your life openly public online opens up the floodgates to unwanted negativity, I do.

I mean, I’ve been called a whore, obviously retarded and an anorexic waif. I’ve been told that I need to stop smoking crack and killing babies and that the world is better off now that there is one less white baby to pollute it.

I’ve been told that no one gives a fuck that Ava is dead and to just stop my whining a pop out a new one already. I’ve been told Ava deserved to die, and that if she wasn’t dead, I was probably too dumb not to throw her out of a window anyway.

I’ve even been told that I deserve to die for being such a bad mother and killing my own child.

I don’t talk about these things because the second you even call someone out, you’ve fuelled the fire, know what I mean? And besides, there’s an obvious level of detachment from a fly-by comment or unwelcome letters in my inbox. Why dwell on something when the easy way to fix it is to grow a thicker skin and just hit the delete key?

But things have become personal and I need to draw the line.

Whoever is sending unmarked mail to my home address needs to stop right now. It’s not funny, and this behaviour is totally unacceptable.

You win, ok? You’re scaring the fuck out of me, and you need to stop right NOW!


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That is creepy and disturbing... I would be freaking out too.
Posted by Anonymous Anonymous :  October 06, 2008

Oh my god, that's shocking! What the hell is wrong with people.
Good Lord, is there no humanity left?
Posted by Anonymous Marcie :  October 06, 2008

are you freaking kidding me Karla. WHo are they I'll kick their ass!

Oh my gosh, I can't believe someone is doing that! I'm so sorry and I hope they stop soon. You don't deserve that. You opened your life and hearts to us, and no one has the right to harass you for that.

I am so sorry to hear this.
There are some creepy people out there.

I hope you can put a stop to it Karla. You are a wonderful person ans do not deserve this.
Posted by Blogger Donna :  October 06, 2008

Holy crap, Karla! I hope you guys are safe!!
Posted by Blogger Angella :  October 06, 2008

Karla, tell me you've contacted the authorities. That's appalling. Absolutely appalling & probably actionable.
Posted by Blogger Karen :  October 06, 2008

That is terrible. I've been lurking for some time now. I was compelled to comment after hearing about some of the disgusting comments from snarky cowards.

you are an awesome person and you don't deserve that negativity.

I'm with Karen. Contact the authorities. Maybe those letters can be traced.
Posted by Blogger Lovebuzz38 :  October 06, 2008

OMFG. I agree with contacting authorities. What the fuck is wrong with these pathetic ingrates who think that completely unprovoked harassment is in any way justifiable? Seriously- these people must be some kind of sub-human mutant incapable of real emotion and empathy.
Posted by Blogger Jeninacide :  October 06, 2008

Oh Karla. You're family doesn't deserve this. Hope you're all well.
Posted by Anonymous Susan :  October 06, 2008

Oh Karla, this is awful. I'm thinking of you and I hope there's something that can be done to at least figure out what area of the country the mail is coming from (cross-referencing IP addresses to that area?). I'm not very good at this, but I'm thinking of you and HOPING that this person gets a life and stops bothering you and your family. xoxo.

not funny! at. all. be safe and know that these things are absolutely ludicrous.
Posted by Blogger Katie :  October 06, 2008

OMG! Have you called the police? I hope so. I hate to say this but it is probable someone you may else would someone get your address? Are they threatning you? Please be safe.

Ummm wow. Some people just need to learn how to f@#k off
Posted by Anonymous FlyBoyAjax :  October 06, 2008

OMG Karla ~ that is just awful ~ I cannot believe that anyone would ever say those horrible nasty things. I hope that these things stop ~ I can't work out how someone would get your address ~ that is not nice.
Thinking of you ~ and sending love and hugs XXXXX
Posted by Blogger Tabitha :  October 06, 2008

O.k. thats just wrong in so many ways. I started moderating my comments cause of crap like that but how they heck did they find your mailing address?? Some people just have no life so they have to mess with other people lives.
Posted by Blogger Heather :  October 06, 2008

That's just awful Karla. I hope it stops. There are some sick effers out there.
Amanda x
Posted by Blogger Amanda :  October 06, 2008

WHAT?! First, I can't believe people would say those things to you, but the mail to your home? Seriously??

That is ridiculous! Stay safe.
Posted by Blogger Pgoodness :  October 06, 2008

Wow..definitely involve the police from here on out..and be careful!

PS your site logs IP addresses right? ...
Posted by Anonymous Anonymous :  October 06, 2008

WTF? I just had to express the same disgust as everyone else. Although that person doesn't even deserve our disgust.
Posted by Blogger Dawn :  October 06, 2008

I am so sorry to hear you are going through this Karla. But now the assho** is probably laughing knowing that he got to you. Play it quietly, make copies of the emails and get this jerk's ip address and get the authorities involved. That will give the no good low life something to laugh about. Stay safe!
Posted by Anonymous ConnieD :  October 06, 2008

sorry...really sorry...I don't want to comment it here, it's unuseful...sent an email, if you want, read it...we love you...that's stronger than these stupid himy
Posted by Blogger himy :  October 06, 2008

People are amazing they really are. I hope that they thought this was some sort of joke and stop. There is nothing funny about this at all. I would definitly call the police and let them know. Atleast place a complaint.
Posted by Blogger TBG :  October 06, 2008

OMFG Karla,
I am with every one else conntact the authorities. you have right? and saved every one? or at least most?
then i think you should deleat this post..
really it only fuels the fire.
Posted by Anonymous uumomma :  October 06, 2008

Call the authorities immediately. You don't know with the type of people out there these days...Freaking scary though and to be safe, just call!!!
Posted by Anonymous Mindy :  October 06, 2008

Holy crap. What rotten things to say someone. I lost my first son. He died in my arms and because I was so young, I became the brunt of many verbal attacks and a lot of what they are saying was said to me also. I am so sorry that you are going through this. I am really am. I care that Ava didn't make it. It is so sad to see a baby die and I could see the pain in your eyes. It is devastating. And if you ever need someone to vent to, you can vent to me. I won't pass judgment on you. Bless you and your daughter.
Posted by Blogger Dotchi :  October 06, 2008

OMG I can't believe those comments...I've thought the total opposite thing about you...that I LOVE your commitment to NOT forgetting about Ava.

And seriously...I'm with everyone the police. Does your gut tell you who you think it is?
Posted by Blogger joyce :  October 07, 2008

Wow, that's awful. I agree with others that you need to contact the authorities. I hope this doesn't make you stop writing because I love the humor, tears, and joy your blog brings but that would seriously creep me out as well.

Be strong Karla. That creep will get what's coming to them some how or some way.You're amazing.
Posted by Anonymous Erinn Vander Kooij :  October 07, 2008

piss on anyone who would say such hateful things. I know they sting, but really such scum does not have a place in your life.
And please, contact the police. If they have your hone address, then they are obviously targeting you. There has to be a way to stop it.
Posted by Anonymous Shannon :  October 07, 2008


Karla, I dropped my laptop a few weeks back and lost everything ~ including all Blog links. I've only just read yours tonight and am so sorry to read this.

There are some truly twisted people out there and you've obviously hit the jackpot.

It goes without saying that Ava has touched (and changed) the lives of many and for any individual to think otherwise is saddening.

Stay strong. It's awful when your sense of security/safety is altered.


please call your local police. it is important to document activity like this, which in the state where i live is called criminal harassment. after so many "contacts" of this nature (and if you feel threatened, you are threatened) the law is broken. this is very scary.
Posted by Anonymous Anonymous :  October 07, 2008

Oh my gosh, I can't believe someone would do that! Even to make the comments you listed, but then to send mail to your home!?! What is wrong with people?? I don't normally comment, but I'm scared for you Karla. Please be safe, and I agree with the others, contact the authorities. Even if they can't do anything with what you have, at least they'd have record of it from the beginning, just in case it escalates.
Posted by Blogger Michelle :  October 07, 2008

There is already so much suffering and hatred in the world that we all need to support people like Karla who have gone through losing a child, through no fault of her own or anyone else, and still be a caring and positive person. Being brave enough to tell her story is the best way to help her and others cope with lifes challenges and her blog has definatly opened my eyes to all the other women and families who have experienced a loss or gone through a difficult situation and has made me a more compassionate person. Anyone who takes it further than posting a nasty comment needs professional help and jail time.

I just started reading your blog after I saw your youtube video about Ava last week. That is truly disturbing what people say and completely disgusting. Why such nastiness? I know you're not religious, just the same, I'll be praying for your safety and that of your family.
Posted by Anonymous Anonymous :  October 07, 2008

OK - its time to call the authorities. You're right, this isn't funny anymore.
Posted by Anonymous Anonymous :  October 07, 2008

That is F'd up. Like others said, copy all emails and everything, but I hate to say that this jerk-off is probably getting off on all this attention right now. So do what you can without giving this person or persons too much attention for it, even if it is negative attention this person(s) is loving it and craving more!
Posted by Anonymous Anonymous :  October 07, 2008

You have GOT to be kidding me!
Posted by Blogger Brandi1977 :  October 07, 2008

what the hell!! who does that
Posted by Blogger rachael :  October 07, 2008

damn karla. i would let the police know whats been going on so they have a heads up if anything happens. i will be praying for your safety
Posted by Anonymous Anonymous :  October 07, 2008

What the eff is wrong w/ ppl? That is eff'd up and you have every reason to be a little freaked out. Holy crap.
Posted by Blogger Finelly :  October 07, 2008

Shit, Karla, that's insane.

Stay safe and do your best to not let it shake you.

As for the other stuff people have said... they're pathetic and have nothing to offer the world.

You, however, have been a light on a dark day for many, many people, with your strength and courage, so, know that.
Posted by Blogger Alison :  October 08, 2008

I don't know what I could say that others haven't already commented. I actually just went back and re-read some Ava posts last week as I worked through some personal stuff. I cry when I see those photos. And this is coming from someone who used to work at a hospital lab where we kept deceased babies (before transfer to the funeral home obviously). I used to carry those babies to and from L&D nurses to be with their families. Anyway, I was in a store recently and saw a little token with Ava's name on it. It said "an angel watches over you- Ava". I don't particularly believe in angels, but I was touched and I thought of Nate & his recent hospital stay. I was going to ask for your address privately so I could send it to you, but I would never want to scare you. I can't believe how evil people are sometimes, and I was so sad to read this post. BTW, how is Nate's health these days? I'm a worrier, can you tell? Three blogs that I read are password protected, maybe you should consider it? I hope you are all okay.-Peace
Posted by Anonymous P. Gardiner :  October 08, 2008

had to delurk to say... this is awful and truly the last thing you need. Please call the police. I'm crying at the thought of how inhumane some people can be. Be safe! Amy
Posted by Anonymous Anonymous :  October 09, 2008

That is just so wrong. I hope it stops ASAP!
Posted by Blogger Colleen :  October 11, 2008

Its like a sport for them. It's called trolling.There's a saying "Don't feed the trolls" , meaning that these people are attention seeking ...if you don't give them any attention they wither and die (or move on to get the attention they deserve)I have and am a administrator on many social networks ... and the course that works best for us is that when someone starts this behavior on one of my sites then word goes out to the administrators that this person has become "invisible"
we won't respond to them in anyway.We delete everything they have posted on our site ,and anything new they post gets deleted as soon as we notice.We don't ban them because now you have locked the door and created a challenge (it's not really possible to ban someone anyway) and we wont delete their profile ,just anything new they post to it .They will quickly get bored and leave usually deleting their profiles themselves.This is what works best in my experience and a post like this has the opposite effect as opposed to deleting their comments and starving them your re-posting them and feeding the trolls.
Posted by Anonymous BABYDIABOLICAL :  October 24, 2009


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