Blast from the past
by Karla ° Wednesday, March 25, 2009
At this exact moment in time, I’m living in the chaos known as SELLING A HOUSE. And I have to be honest, it is ridiculously exhausting vacuuming random kid crumbs and windexing endless dog snot and making beds and cleaning cat shit and picking up dog shit and fluffing this and straightening that and polishing sinks and picking up eleventy trillion toys and sweeping floors that are also perpetually coated in crumbs and taking out the already endless garbage of diapers and cat shit and dog shit and hiding toothbrushes and trying to cook food that does not have a weird smell and baking ONE FUCKING MUFFIN every day so my house smells like bananas and making sure there are none of Mark’s haphazardly tossed man socks lurking in a dark corner while simultaneously lining up all the randomly tossed shoes in the closet wiping up man whiskers from the sink and making sure that the counters are clutter free and the faucets sparkle and the diaper genie doesn’t smell and that there is no dog hair on my pillow case or deal-breaking pubes clinging to a bar of soap in the shower.

I feel bad for Nate, I really do, because well, we have to critically look and scrutinize every facet of this house right now to make it as appealing as possible, and that means Mommy needs to do other things besides play tickle troll and build the tallest Ninja castle in the whole entire universe out of lego.

Man oh man, and vacating our home every night while strangers analyze every nook and cranny of this house while our toddler screams that he wants A FRY MOMMY! I WANNA GO HOME DADDY! I POOPED! It kind of wears thin, you know?

I’m pretty sure the steam and gusto of my Type-A personality cleaning approach will quickly wear off if we don’t sell this house soon. And well, realistically, we won’t. The market in Ajax, as I’m sure in your neighbourhood, too, is a buyer’s market - a great time to move up or buy your first home, but not an ideal market for a quick sale.

Five years ago, when we put an offer in on this house, the market was HOT! And we actually had to pay more than asking price to win the bidding war. I think this was the seventh of eighth house we looked at, but we knew we loved the neighbourhood and this was the first house we walked into and were able to say the second we walked in the door that we wanted to put in an offer.

And now that we’re sitting here trying to sell our home in a bad economy, it’s kind of hard logging into a website where Real Estate agents can answer surveys and add comments about what their clients thought of our home. So far, we’re hearing the house is too small and the yard is too small, too. I’m kinda sitting here going DUDE! I KNOW! That’s why we’re moving because we have a dog that is the size of a human and he totally needs his own bedroom because I am sick and tired of sharing my pillow with him.

Wow. I just went back to proof-read what I wrote and I think I sound like a tired and cranky asshole. Totally time to lighten this up. I am a self proclaimed pack rat. But I’m only a partial pack rat because I’ll easily toss stuff that adds clutter and keep everything else that we can carefully store away forever and ever until I post pictures of it on my blog.

Which pretty much brings me to the point of this whole post. I am, between photography and writing and being a part time stay at home mom and trying to sell this house, totally at my max capacity for brain activity, so I thought over the next few days I would feature for you some of the crazy and weird things I have been keeping over the years that have been hiding in the dark basement shadows and untouched closet shelves for years.

So far, on this mission to delclutter, I have only tackled the clothes closet, but take a gander at this more than passé trend.

These faux-frayed shorts are from grade six.. Yes, grade six. I am not even kidding. They were all the rage back when I was like, what, 10? And the crazy part is not so much that I have kept these shorts all these years (although come to think of it is is crazy) but sympathize with me and tell me it is not just completely and totally uncool that my hips never ever evolved beyond those of a 12-year-old boy and my boobs never grew beyond an A-cup.

Be sure to check back later because just today I found a dress that I sewed for Home Ec in high school and jeans that I reconfigured with knee patches to look cool and leather pants that I actually wore to a New Years Eve party ten years ago with a faux snake skin shirt where I got really drunk and actually french kissed Mark in the same room as my parents.

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Comments:


so preparing to sell your house sounds an awful lot like preparing for a visit from my mother in law!
 

You have put the hard work in and i really do hope that you get a quick sale.
And by the way ~ you are looking great!

Love,
Amanda x
Posted by Blogger Amanda :  March 25, 2009
 

OMG that is hilarious that they fit.....don;t ever complain about your body again.

Good luck with your house. We just bought our first for $40K less than originally listed, hope you don;t have to drop down anywhere near that.
Posted by Blogger Donna :  March 25, 2009
 

We're there too: finding a new house is proving so much more difficult than selling our house (thankfully), but now we have nowhere to go when they kick us out in 30 days. So, yes: lego towers go unbuilt and Lil Girl has to play with the babies for a little while all by herself ('Nooooooooooo!')

Ditto on the packrattiness as well. Love your shorts! ;)
 

I can wear the shorts I wore in 6th grade, too. They look fabulous as a small pocketbook for my keys and wallet. ;-)
Posted by Anonymous Nicki in NC :  March 25, 2009
 

Hope the house sells very soon!
I cannot believe that you still fit in those shorts ~ that is great ~ I don't think that I would fit in anything I have from back then!!
Looking forward to seeing the rest of the pictures ~ will check back tomorrow XXX
Posted by Blogger Tabitha :  March 25, 2009
 

You know? If I could still wear the shorts I had in 6th grade? I'd certainly still have them! I so understand about the packrattiness....guilty, as charged.
~Mad(elyn) in Alabama
www.xanga.com/madewyn
Posted by Anonymous ~Mad :  March 25, 2009
 

If you're going to hear negative feedback, though, isn't that the best too hope for? They're not saying it smelled like dog/cat/diaper or did you see the dirt in the corners? You're doing everything right, and the right person will come along and appreciate that. Good luck!
Posted by Blogger ccr in MA :  March 25, 2009
 

okay so yes those shorts are pretty hideous but i can't believe you actually still fit in those. i hate you. i absolutely, totally and completely hate you for that. Two kids later and you still fucking fit in shorts you wore in 6th grade. You suck!!! =)
Posted by Anonymous Anonymous :  March 25, 2009
 

oh ya...6th grade wasn't only 10 years ago either. It was more like 18/19 years ago. Nice try though trying to pretend you are younger than you are, unless of course you were still in 6th grade when you were 19!
Posted by Anonymous Anonymous :  March 25, 2009
 

OMG, I just had to go and reread what I wrote, because I'm quite certain I was not 18 in grade six, and I actually said I was 10 years old, not that it was 10 years ago.
Posted by Blogger karla :  March 26, 2009
 

I would pay money to fit into clothing I owned in middle school. Dude.
 

See that first paragraph? That's why every time we think, oh maybe we could sell..maybe we should look...I say No. Because I could. not. do that. Good for you.

If I wanted to move to Ajax I would totally look your place up :)

(here from canada moms blog, btw)
Posted by Anonymous clara :  March 26, 2009
 

Man, good luck. Someone is going to come in and declare it perfect!
Posted by Blogger Amanda :  March 27, 2009
 

wow your house even looks good in the tiny little shot behind you in that picture, so your efforts in staging it is working!
Posted by Blogger joyce :  March 30, 2009
 

But obviously your legs filled in just lovely!

Good luck with house selling with a toddler. It almost killed our schedule-loving family...
Posted by Blogger Carly :  March 31, 2009
 

I couldn't even wear a sock I wore in sixth grade...and I was a fat kid!
Posted by Blogger Christi :  April 03, 2009
 


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