untanglingknots.com

by Karla ° Sunday, March 30, 2008

It’s no secret that I’m a huge fan of Lululemon clothes. There are very few things on this planet that I would dish out the kind of cash that they demand for their gear, but there are also very few things on this planet that flatter my lady lumps and bumps the way their clothes do. Unless you count Mark’s ability to be complimentary, but he is contractually obligated to be that way through marriage, so he doesn’t count.

So, yes, Lululemon clothes are expensive, but they really do hug and flare in all the right places to create an extremely flattering silhouette. My favourite pants, by far, are the new Surya style. A bit looser than the updated Reverse Groove straight leg pants, they have an adjustable waist for a custom fit and piping along the sides creates the illusion of elongated legs. I feel 19 feet tall when I wear them.

And if this Mansy wasn’t an April Fool’s joke, I would so buy this number for Mark in a variety of skin-hugging colours. Because seriously, what dude doesn’t need a missile-enhancing Mansy?

Labels: Lululemon, Mark

Permanent link to this entry

Comments (15)

Lucky and Unlucky

by Karla ° Friday, December 28, 2007

In terms of Christmas this year? It did not entirely fit in our car. Going there (to visit our families), or coming back. Which sort of put a damper on the whole festive spirit when we rolled up to my parent’s house without their gift, and then rolled back out of town without our gifts. Samson however, is pleased that he did not have to ride all the whole way home perched on top a mountain of toys.

And then, bummer of all bummers, I lost a brand spanking new pair of Lululemon pants. I could write a whole sermon on why my Lululemon Reverse Groove pants are like, the most spectacular pants I have ever owned, but this story is not about how fabulous those pants make your ass look. This story is about Mark buying me a new pair because my body has shrunk since buying my last pair and in order to maximize their spectacularity, you'd think it’s important that they do not hang off of your hips like a tent, no?

Anyhow, I carefully selected a new pair, black, with a quilted band of gray and white along the waist, in tall length. Why someone who is 5’ 4” needs a tall inseam, I have no idea. I just know that their regular length inseams are way too short when worn with shoes, and I am WAY picky about how my pants drape over my shoes. So, I had them hemmed, picked them up a few days later, wandered around the mall, la la la, got distracted, set down my parcel, and never saw them again.

They’re probably on ebay, right now, being sold for more than the sticker price because the tags are still attached.

And then something else happened that made my heart literally stop. My brother got hurt. Now, my brother is not one who gets hurt easily. He is a sturdy six feet tall, and a solid mass of about 200 lbs from all those childhood years of kicking my ass and adult years of muscle-building landscaping, so when he falls, he falls hard, especially if it’s from the impact of a very large sheet of ice falling off the roof and crashing down on him. My mom found him outside, crumpled over in a pile of snow, not moving. I may have lost my shit and screamed for someone to call 911, and then continued to scream even louder because, FOR FUCK SAKES, WHY ISN'T ANYONE CALLING 911? He is lucky to be alive, and still have a head attached to his body.

Somewhere though, wrapped in the midst of all the worry for my brother, sadness for my pants, and the bum that yearns to fill them, was a fine time spent with family. My Mom went out of her way to keep my belly full on gourmet cheese, hot cocoa served with fresh whipped topping, and homemade vegetarian lasagna carefully layered with a medley of fresh vegetables , strips of zucchini, sauce, and the melt-in-your-mouth goodness of four cheeses. She also made extra, and sent me home with enough to last me the winter. You’d think she knew I hated cooking, or something.

And then, on Christmas Day, Mark and I opened our gifts with Nate, stuffed our bellies full of pancakes, and spent the entire afternoon in bed. Sleeping.

It was perfect.

Labels: All in the Family, Lululemon

Permanent link to this entry

Comments (11)

Bits and Pieces

by Karla ° Tuesday, September 25, 2007

My nephew’s birthday party was fabulous. Everything was perfect. Except for the tiny part where Nate missed his afternoon nap.

Before the party we took him to visit some of my family that he has either never met or met only once in his life.

Shortly into the visit he started crying and wailing and his overtiredness quickly became a self perpetuating disaster of yawning, screaming and tear stained cheeks coupled with a pair of glassy eyes that followed us all the way to the birthday party where he refused to surrender to dreamland amidst all the excitement.

:::

This is my parent's dog, Little Bear.

According to Little Bear, I am her Mother and my Brother is her Father.

This makes my Mom her Grandmother and my Dad her Grandfather.

This also makes our family sound very abnormal.

:::

Speaking of abnormalities, I don’t like cake.

So instead of cake for my birthday, I opted for a Starbucks coffee.

I ordered a grande, non-fat, no foam, vanilla latte.

Mark went all out and ordered a coffee.

When the Barista asked what kind of coffee he wanted, he said he wanted the kind of coffee that tastes like coffee.

Mark also bought me a new curve hugging Lululemon Igloo Zip Up sweater for my birthday.

Apparently, we need to get our priorities in order when an article of clothing costs as much as a fucking vacuum cleaner.

Labels: Lululemon

Permanent link to this entry

Comments (8)

The Day After

by Karla ° Friday, September 21, 2007

I meant to write something more lovey dovey and meaningful yesterday to mark our four year anniversary, but the night before our anniversary Nate decided he did not want to sleep and then on the morning of our anniversary, there were bodies to drop off at the train station for their morning commute and the offering of the breasts to a black hole of need and the endless pumping so that his Majesty can dine on cereal with milk straight from the jug, so to speak.

And since it was our anniversary, I wanted to prepare a nice dinner for Mark that did not come out of a frozen box. That in and of itself is an accomplishment of enormous proportions. Also, things that involve pots and pans and appliances and electricity require my full attention span so that I do not burn down our home.

So that is why I could not focus on writing something lovey dovey yesterday.

I also may have wanted to go shopping for new clothes. Which I did, only to be disappointed that the clothes at my most favourite clothing store in the whole wide world no longer look the same on a body that has given birth to a couple of a babies and a new set of hips.

Anyhow, after spending the afternoon shopping and chopping peppers and zucchini and adding milk to some instant Jell-O chocolate pudding mix, Mark called to let me know that all trains out of the city were cancelled until further notice (translation: all night long) due to a massive five-alarm fire at an auto wreckers in Toronto.

The only other option for him to get home was to hop on a subway and head as far out of the city as it would take him so that I could pick him up.

Now, I have taken the cut off from the highway where I was supposed to meet Mark many times before because it is the exact same cut off for the mall where I have become intimately acquainted with the new Lululemon store that recently opened there.

But bozo me, was driving along, la-la-la, and missed the cut off. And by now rush hour was in full force.

Long story short, we finally made it home in what was remarkably only a two hour commute for Mark. Considering the chaos that public transit was in, this was record timing.

So while Mark fed Nate his dinner, I went to work on my special anniversary dinner masterpiece. On the menu was a homemade fettuccini alfredo sauce that ended up looking like melted plastic, followed Tiramisu for dessert, which although heavenly looking, tasted hellish.

Today is a new day though, and I am ready to profess my undying love.

:::

My Dearest Mark,

I’m sorry dinner was awful.

But you did marry me knowing that the stove is my enemy.

I love you.

Thank you for the back rub.

And I’m sorry I fell asleep before the sex part.

Love always,

Karla
xo

:::

Labels: All in the Family, It's All About Me, Lululemon, Mark

Permanent link to this entry

Comments (9)

Our big day out

by Karla ° Friday, May 18, 2007

Yesterday was a big day for Nate and me. It was the first time in his entire five months of existence that I ventured out of the house with him in tow for an entire day.

Nate had his first train ride, and I had my first experience breastfeeding in public on a train filled with people. Would it sound weird if I called it liberating? Because it was.

Nate got to stroll along Bay Street and see his first sky scrappers while I reminisced over my former life working in a skyscraper. I do not miss it one bit.

Nate got to people watch and I got to spend an entire day shopping even though I did not spend one penny because so is the life of being a hypocrite cheapskate that can justify $110 for a pair of lululemon pants but not the purchase of a new pair of sandals to replace the only bedraggled pair that I own that are now five years old.

Nate got to meet Heather. Heather and I met a few months back when her business travels brought her to Toronto and I’m so glad she was able to find the time to meet up again so I could introduce her to Nate.

She also came bearing a gift for Nate. Seeing that we plan on putting our house fixer upper skills to work, she brought him a plush toy hammer that makes a big crashing sound when you bang it. Which is exactly what we predict will happen to our wide screen when Nate starts walking.

I would post a photo of her snuggling with Nate, but I forgot to ask permission if I can plaster her picture on my website. So instead I will post the family photo she took for us.

Nate was a perfect angel all day until we got the restaurant and he realized that he forgot his horns and pitchfork at home.

Labels: Baby Nate, Boobs, Friends, Lululemon

Permanent link to this entry

Comments (10)

Lululemon Reverse Groove Pants

by Karla ° Saturday, March 31, 2007

I have heard rumblings that Lululemon pants have a unique ability to make you look like a walking product of airbrushed perfection. So when a new store opened up nearby this morning, I decided to check it out.

I walked into the store and a salesgirl asked, “Can I help you?” And I said, “I have birthed two babies. I want something that will make my ass look fabulous.”

She said, “I have just the thing.”

And she was right. My new Reverse Groove pants are like slipping on an orgasm, only I don’t have to bother showering first.

Here's hoping your ass has a fabulous day, too.

Labels: It's All About Me, Lululemon

Permanent link to this entry

Comments (10)