Shot Gun
by Karla ° Wednesday, March 14, 2007
Tomorrow we are traveling north to see family. This will be our first road trip with Nate, which on its own sounds like no biggie, unless you consider the elephantine dog that must come with.

Samson weighs only about 35 lbs less than I do, and in terms of human seating requirements, I would say we are both on par for the amount of square footage our arse ends require, that is, if the dog would actually stay put and sit on his arse end. Before Nate, Samson had the entire backseat to himself and because he could, he made full use of his space by casually lounging across the seat and stretching his giraffe legs as far as they could reach. He never actually learned to sit in the car. Now however, there is absolutely no room for him in the back with the baby seat, so I have been condemned to the back seat and the dog gets to ride shot gun.

To see how that would work, you know, before we hit the highways and found out that Samson thinks riding shot gun means easy access to play I am a heavy lap dog and he tries to climb on top of Mark while he’s driving, all four of us piled into our tiny little two door Pontiac Sunfire yesterday and took a test drive around town. To set the stage for how that looked, all you need to know is that we may as well have had Circus Clowns painted across the hood of our car for all those who saw us cruising around while Samson stood sideways across the front seat and stuck his big dog head out of the window and planted his big dog ass in Mark’s face.

Let’s just say that I’m glad I am not the one driving because although chauffeuring the dog around while I sit in the back makes me feel completely lame, at least I’m not the one that must deal with an unobstructed view of dog anus.

Happy Trails Tails Mark.

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I love the way you write, I can see it now, What a funny site you have portrayed! Maybe with the new job a new car will be in the picture!
southern Belle
Posted by Anonymous Anonymous :  March 14, 2007

Perhaps you could bring your camera and capture a video of this. I can just see Samson in all of his front seat glory. TOo cute!
Posted by Blogger Melanie :  March 14, 2007

OMG that is too funny. Your poor hubby!

I can't remember if this is my first comment or not (it's not called Meno-brain for nuthin' I guess)but I've read your whole blog and find your writing some of the best out there.

Your little fella is gorgeous :)
Posted by Blogger Poppy :  March 14, 2007

We encountered the exact same seating problem once we installed our carseat. We tried to get Lucy to ride shotgun but it completely freaked her out!
Posted by Anonymous Shalini :  March 14, 2007

That is hilarious! Is a new car in your future at all?
Posted by Blogger Gina :  March 14, 2007

I'm going to totally crap on your parade now and won't blame you at all for hating me forever.

We had the same issue with Spencer (albeit he's only 25-ish lbs), except it was riding in the back window ledge of the car. Once Lucy was born, an even remote hard tap on the breaks would send him shooting off the ledge onto her in her carseat. We learned THAT lesson pretty quick.

For a while he'd ride on the passenger person's lap, but after 15 minutes, 25 lbs. feels like 25,ooo lbs.

On top of this, we learned that those lovely front airbags meant to keep humans safe? Will instantly kill an animal sitting in the front seat of a car should one go off.

And -- this isn't as much of an issue with Samson who's giant -- in an accident, Jack Russell Spencer would become a flying torpedo of death inside of a car.

So he had to go back in the back. With a doggie seat belt that anchors to a metal clasp under the seat. Which he hates with ever fur molicle in his body.

But at least he and us are as safe as we can be.

I'm sorry. Is there a way to keep Samson in the back beside the car seat?
Posted by Anonymous Carly :  March 14, 2007

I can picture the whole scene. I spent many car trips in the back seat with the baby so I could feed them or just give them a familiar face to look at.
Posted by Blogger Julia :  March 14, 2007

OMG Karla that is just hysterical! You have got to take a picture for us internets!
Posted by Blogger TBG :  March 14, 2007

Totally off subject but I was in bed thinking about you last night. O shit that sounded way bad. Anyway I was lying there next to my sick 19 month old little boy (yeah yeah he sleeps with me 80% of the time) I found myself reaching over and checking to see if he was still breathing. I thought of you then, when I realized that I do this every night. Sometimes more then once, then I realized my husband has even done it a few times. So, you know, yeah, you are just gonna worry about Nate forever I guess. SIDS used to scare me to tears and stuff and there was nothing I did to calm it, I just had to take each night as it came. But putting him in his little bouncy seat to help him sleep is just fine, you were just doing what seemed best. I'm sorry those moms in the moms group scared you. But like I say often you are the only mom Nate has, and moms know best. So, YOU are the only one who will ever know just whats right for your little man. Just wanted you to know, your not alone, us moms are all out here worrying and being a little bit of crazy in our own rights.

Also, this sounds almost as fun as when I try and take my cat in the car and he rides in my lap with his butt in my face! Ick!

Hahahahaha. How is it that we have let dogs rule the world? Next thing we know, he'll be driving! Where's Delilah when you need her?
Posted by Blogger Linda :  March 15, 2007

What kind of car do you own? I have to picture this in my head. Have fun on your drive Karla.
Posted by Blogger egan :  March 15, 2007

Gosh - I hope you guys survive. What we don't do for our pets! But hey, it makes for great blog material. Let's just hope your doggie doesn't have gas!


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