Mother's Day
by Karla ° Sunday, May 13, 2007

Today is Mother’s Day. A tradition filled with heartfelt Hallmark moments wrapped in the sweet scent of flowers to love and honour the role of Motherhood.

For me, it’s such a bittersweet day. Although my heart is bursting at the seams with joy as I watch Nathan’s tiny chest rise and fall in a peaceful sleep beside me, it is also filled echo’s of numbness as I remember the child that is no longer with me.

For the longest time after Ava died I felt like the victim of a wretched identity theft. Sure I was still a mom, except there were no sticky fingers to clean or tiny bodies to rock to sleep. I felt like I was part of some sort of invisible mom club filled with shadowy corridors and fake plastic smiles to hide the emptiness.

But this mother’s day I have Nate. My Son. A living, breathing baby. A beacon on the horizon of hope. A promise of a happiness. A bucket filled to the brim with bliss. A new rhythm for the beat of my soul and the calm of the storm of anguish that persistently lingers and follows me wherever I go.

On this Mother’s Day I will try not to cling to the past. I will embrace the sting of my reality, shed a tear for Ava and cherish my baby and the season of joy he brought with him when he entered this world.

Wishing all mother's, expecting mom's and struggling-to-be-mom’s a wonderful day filled with fierce love and hugs a plenty.

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You deserve this day. have a good one.
Posted by Blogger Anvilcloud :  May 13, 2007

Enjoy it to the fullest. Smiles and tears too. Love and hugs on this very special Mother's Day.
Posted by Blogger Cuppa :  May 13, 2007

*Hugs*. Enjoy this day, Karla - it was made for you!
Posted by Blogger Megan :  May 13, 2007

I'm so glad that Nate is here to fill your heart!
Posted by Blogger Gina :  May 13, 2007

Happy Mother's Day sweetie! You deserve it more than anyone I know!

Hugs from Ottawa!
Posted by Blogger Cate :  May 13, 2007

Happy Mother's Day. Your descriptions are so accurate. Your insightfulness is a lifelong Mother's Day gift from Ava.

Thanks for sharing your life with me. I have learned much from you without having ever said a word to date myself.
Posted by Anonymous Kristy :  May 13, 2007

Happy Mother's Day to you too. I wish you a very very good day.
Posted by Anonymous Emalene :  May 13, 2007

Karla, Happy Mother's Day! I wish I could give you a big long hug and let you know that you are thought of so very often! I guess this will have to do! Hugs and love from my heart to yours!
Posted by Anonymous Beth :  May 13, 2007's soooo nice that you have Nate with u on this mothers day!! I'm sure Ava is watching over you all on this day as well!! :) You more then anyone deserves's nice to say Happy Mothers Day to YOU!!

Posted by Blogger rachael :  May 13, 2007

Happy Mother's Day. Though I don't know you in person I have read enough to feel like I do. You deserve the happiness of this day.
Posted by Blogger Stacey :  May 13, 2007

Happy Mother's Day, Karla.
Posted by Blogger Christi :  May 13, 2007

happy Mother's Day
Posted by Blogger Day :  May 13, 2007

Right back to you, Karla...Happy Mother's Day.
Posted by Blogger B :  May 13, 2007

I have a new baby girl, just about to turn 4 months. I forget how I ended up here, but I did, and I read your Ava posts. They made me cry.

Since I'm a guy, that's totally unmanly, so you'll forgive my using a false name.

Happy Mother's Day. It sounds like you deserve it as much as anybody.

Posted by Anonymous d :  May 14, 2007

Happy Mother's Day!
Posted by Blogger Christi :  May 14, 2007

A very Happy Mother's day to a mom who deserves all the happiness in the world.
Posted by Anonymous andrea :  May 14, 2007

Belated Mother's Day wishes Karla.
Posted by Blogger egan :  May 14, 2007

I echo the sentiments of the other posters. I hope your mother's Day was pleasant, and that the pleasure of the present outweighed the sting of your loss.

Sorry to hear about Ava, Happy Mothers Day!
Posted by Anonymous Tinyike :  September 28, 2007


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