Mother's Day
by Karla ° Sunday, May 13, 2007

Today is Mother’s Day. A tradition filled with heartfelt Hallmark moments wrapped in the sweet scent of flowers to love and honour the role of Motherhood.

For me, it’s such a bittersweet day. Although my heart is bursting at the seams with joy as I watch Nathan’s tiny chest rise and fall in a peaceful sleep beside me, it is also filled echo’s of numbness as I remember the child that is no longer with me.

For the longest time after Ava died I felt like the victim of a wretched identity theft. Sure I was still a mom, except there were no sticky fingers to clean or tiny bodies to rock to sleep. I felt like I was part of some sort of invisible mom club filled with shadowy corridors and fake plastic smiles to hide the emptiness.

But this mother’s day I have Nate. My Son. A living, breathing baby. A beacon on the horizon of hope. A promise of a happiness. A bucket filled to the brim with bliss. A new rhythm for the beat of my soul and the calm of the storm of anguish that persistently lingers and follows me wherever I go.

On this Mother’s Day I will try not to cling to the past. I will embrace the sting of my reality, shed a tear for Ava and cherish my baby and the season of joy he brought with him when he entered this world.

Wishing all mother's, expecting mom's and struggling-to-be-mom’s a wonderful day filled with fierce love and hugs a plenty.

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Comments:


You deserve this day. have a good one.
Posted by Blogger Anvilcloud :  May 13, 2007
 

Enjoy it to the fullest. Smiles and tears too. Love and hugs on this very special Mother's Day.
Posted by Blogger Cuppa :  May 13, 2007
 

*Hugs*. Enjoy this day, Karla - it was made for you!
Posted by Blogger Megan :  May 13, 2007
 

I'm so glad that Nate is here to fill your heart!
Posted by Blogger Gina :  May 13, 2007
 

Happy Mother's Day sweetie! You deserve it more than anyone I know!

Hugs from Ottawa!
Posted by Blogger Cate :  May 13, 2007
 

Happy Mother's Day. Your descriptions are so accurate. Your insightfulness is a lifelong Mother's Day gift from Ava.

Thanks for sharing your life with me. I have learned much from you without having ever said a word to date myself.
Posted by Anonymous Kristy :  May 13, 2007
 

Happy Mother's Day to you too. I wish you a very very good day.
Posted by Anonymous Emalene :  May 13, 2007
 

Karla, Happy Mother's Day! I wish I could give you a big long hug and let you know that you are thought of so very often! I guess this will have to do! Hugs and love from my heart to yours!
Posted by Anonymous Beth :  May 13, 2007
 

karla.........it's soooo nice that you have Nate with u on this mothers day!! I'm sure Ava is watching over you all on this day as well!! :) You more then anyone deserves today........it's nice to say Happy Mothers Day to YOU!!

HAVE A GREAT ONE!! :D:D
Posted by Blogger rachael :  May 13, 2007
 

Happy Mother's Day. Though I don't know you in person I have read enough to feel like I do. You deserve the happiness of this day.
Posted by Blogger Stacey :  May 13, 2007
 

Happy Mother's Day, Karla.
Posted by Blogger Christi :  May 13, 2007
 

happy Mother's Day
Posted by Blogger Day :  May 13, 2007
 

Right back to you, Karla...Happy Mother's Day.
Posted by Blogger B :  May 13, 2007
 

I have a new baby girl, just about to turn 4 months. I forget how I ended up here, but I did, and I read your Ava posts. They made me cry.

Since I'm a guy, that's totally unmanly, so you'll forgive my using a false name.

Happy Mother's Day. It sounds like you deserve it as much as anybody.

d
Posted by Anonymous d :  May 14, 2007
 

Happy Mother's Day!
Posted by Blogger Christi :  May 14, 2007
 

A very Happy Mother's day to a mom who deserves all the happiness in the world.
Posted by Anonymous andrea :  May 14, 2007
 

Belated Mother's Day wishes Karla.
Posted by Blogger egan :  May 14, 2007
 

I echo the sentiments of the other posters. I hope your mother's Day was pleasant, and that the pleasure of the present outweighed the sting of your loss.
 

Sorry to hear about Ava, Happy Mothers Day!

http://www.tinyike.com
Posted by Anonymous Tinyike :  September 28, 2007
 


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