The cat who is fat
by Karla ° Monday, April 13, 2009

The cat who is fat, who also does not give two shits about me or my family or pretty much anything else unless it involves the glutinous consumption of food.*

*This side note totally has nothing to do with the above caption, but I'm pretty sure a random asterisk to mention the fact that I AM GOING ABSOLUTELY CRAZY trying to sell this house makes up for the haphazard attempt to publish a post in the 4.2 seconds I have before random strangers pee in my toilet and leave the toilet seat up! Again!


Also? I know it's totally my choice to sell this house, I totally do, but I just have to say it. It's an absolute nightmare trying to live in perfection EVERY! SINGLE! DAY! when all I want to do is leave that massive pile of laundry on the floor for one more week and stop windexing the perpetual dog snot off of ever single surface in the whole entire house, including nose prints on a window so high that would require the skills only a dog enrolled in the doggy Olympics could possess. Um, Hello? Why did they not cast my crazy dog Samson for the movie Marley & Me? DOOD! He's his twin long lost bad ass brother! I swear!

And maybe, just maybe, it might be nice to to finally have a cat that does not eat until his belly is thisclose to exploding before he shits and stink up the entire house accordingly seconds before a home showing.

Also? And perhaps it's not really worth mentioning at this point that my perpetual attempts at hiding a bazillion trillion toys every day causes a colossal toddler meltdown, because I'm pretty sure everyone knows that's a given, but if there's any saving grace, it's that all this chaos can be easily rectified with a McDonald's French Fry. And, well, that and a secret penchant that one day my skinny two-year-old will weigh more than my cat.

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When our house was on the market our cat did the exact same thing!! It must be some kind of feline conspiracy.
Posted by Anonymous Toni :  April 13, 2009

Boarding? I mean you, not the cat. Let the others worry 'bout the house. SIgh, kidding. Just know that there are many pairs of Lulu Lemon pants when this goes through.
Posted by Blogger Amanda :  April 13, 2009

I can imagine that it must be a nightmare ~ I think that I would find it near impossible to keep this place tidy ~ with my kids ha ha !! They have a knack of getting things out and NEVER putting them away!!
I hope that the house sale goes through soon!
Love and hugs XXX
Posted by Anonymous Tabitha :  April 14, 2009

Ewww, dog snot all over. Selling a house is a royal pain-in-the-ass and made me nearly lose my cool many times. Okay, so I never had any cool, but it's frakking hard. Have you had an open house yet? My friend boarded her cat for the open house. It was 6 hours and she didn't know what else to do with it!!
Posted by Blogger Mama T :  April 14, 2009

Hi Karla. I've been thinking about you and your gorgeous Ava all day, so thought I'd drop by. Your cat looks exactly like ours and by the sounds of it, eats like ours too lol.

Thinking of you all on your girl's birthday xxxx

Speaking of your skinny 2 year old, what is little Nate up to (weighing) these days. Just curious, as I've struggled with skinny boy syndrome with both of my boys.

I just ran across my youngest son's well visit paper from his 2 year and he weighed 19 pounds 12 ounces. I haven't yet taken him for his 3 year well visit as my husband lost his job and we were without ins. He has a job now and we have ins (YAY!), so we go on May 12. I weighed him at home the other night and with a belly full of food and beverage, he weighed 24 pounds (he turned 3 on Feb. 26).
Posted by Blogger Candi :  April 15, 2009

Hee hee. The cat looks so ... sinister in that picture. Ours eat until the stomachs touch the floor and then barf all over everything. Half the time we don't find it until what appears to be a week later. I'm glad we're not trying to sell the place!
Posted by Anonymous Anonymous :  April 18, 2009

I have 2 black cats, and the aim of both is to ruin whatever you have just cleaned, and to also take the worst poo ever RIGHT after you clean the box. It HAS to be then, no other time for it you know. Gross, I know, but it has to also be black cat genetics. Or just cats.
Posted by Blogger Tachaé :  April 24, 2009


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