Red Eye
by Karla ° Wednesday, November 18, 2009
This week has been the first week in a very long time that I’ve had some down time. And I don’t want that to sound like an excuse or a complaint or whatever, it just is what it is, you know? It’s just like that old adage, when it rains it pours. I mean, I was a Stay-at-Home Mom for several years and I occasionally did some Freelance Writing and started an ever-so-slowly growing photography business and then BAM, I was contacted for a photography contract that had me rolling out of bed in the middle of the night and working full days during the week while still booking Photography sessions with my own clients EVERY WEEKEND OMG the FATIGUE of working seven days a week, day and night, night and day for months on end…ZZZZZZZZ.

Anyway, I’m not here to complain about being busy because YAWN! BORING! No, I’m here to complain about my motherfucking red eyes. If you saw someone driving down the highway with a pillowcase on their head that was probably me hiding my bruised ego.

It started over a month ago when I woke up one morning, saw myself in the mirror thought I might have pink eye, except not the kind of pink eye that is the hot shade of Schiaparelli pink that I would totally fill my closet with. No, when I say pink eye I really mean the eye of Satan. Except Satan would probably be totally hot and be all MEH if he looked liked me heading out the door to work. The only, tiny itty bitty difference being that I am not Satan and when I show up at work wearing black mule heels, wide leg pants adorned with a low-waisted skinny belt and murderous red eyes, I scare the kids, you know?

Which, to add insult to injury, my eyes are puffier than a motherfucking marshmallow!

Long story short, I went to a walk in clinic, got some antibiotics, eyes cleared up. Life is normal.

Fast-forward a month, red-eyes returned accompanied with painful swelling, both on the upper lids and lower eyes. More eye drugs. Swelling persists, blurred vision ensues and um, letters are all blurring into one another, does this post even make sense?

To date, my eyes barely focus, they are swollen, I sleep more than normal and the “special” appointment I had with an Ophthalmologist was useless. I see another eye specialist on Friday who can hopefully tell me that I can wear MAC mascara once again. Until then, I’m sacrificing my dignity and totally going to hang with Jay Kemp again for a fun afternoon of shooting photos. I have an entire post about Jay in the works because hello? He is the Director of Photography for the Discovery Channel and for reasons that I totally don’t understand, he like actually takes time out of his busy life to hang and take pics with me. We meet again on Friday and he’s promised to tell me about his recent trip to Malibu where he got to hang with Tommy Lee.

I am, like, absolutely stoked, you know, as long as he accepts that I look like a red-eyed balloon face.

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Hows Mark doing?
Posted by Blogger Kathy :  November 18, 2009

Good God, red eyes creep me out.

Also, my eyes tear up immediately when I see someone's eyes devil-red.
There was this one girl who used to turn her lids inside out all the time -I couldn't look at her. Finally I just told her to put on some horns and be Satan's bitch already.

Does that make me sound mean? Oh well. I think there was a reason I said that, but I can't remember.

You should be flying out tonight -- on the red eye express. Or is that a train?

So how are you feeling now? Are your eyes back to normal?

Rereading my comment makes me sounds so angry or something, lol.

But I hope your eyes (and you) are better! =)

I'm de-lurking to say that I think I had the exact same problem with my eyes. My eyeballs weren't red, but everything else (eyelids, above, below) was all red, swollen, and scaly/flaky. I went to an acupunturist who practised NAET (Nambudripad's Allergy Elimination Technique) and had quite a few treatments for a pile of allergies. Everything cleared up and so far has stayed fine. I have very few allergies left, just those that I haven't had treatment for yet. I'm sure there's probably a NAET practitioner somewhere in Toronto.
Posted by Anonymous Keik :  November 28, 2009

Dear Author !
I apologise, but, in my opinion, you are not right. I am assured. I can defend the position.
Posted by Anonymous Anonymous :  December 04, 2009

Dear Anonymous,
Oh please do!
Posted by Blogger karla :  December 04, 2009


Best of luck to you. You have already entered this clearly armed with stupidity. And besides even when you think you have proven your point were all just gonna be laughing at you anyway for trying to drop the hammer on a site clearly packed with Karlas friends

1. Insert head in ass
2. Rinse
3. Repeat
Posted by Anonymous Charles :  December 21, 2009


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