untanglingknots.com: The Orifice of Doom and Terror

by Karla ° Tuesday, September 26, 2006

If you asked someone close to me to describe my greatest incompetence, I can guarantee they would respond with a definitive pointedness that my cooking credentials lack finesse and palatability.

I’ve never taken an interest in cooking. I tend to lean more towards the “eat to live” adage rather than “live to eat”, and it’s long been a running joke amongst my friends that cereal is a dinner staple for me.

Since I’ve been home these past few months, I’ve started to notice a tiny hint of my inner Martha Stewart digging herself out of the thick culinary cobwebs wrapped around my anti broil/roast/sauté psyche.

Maybe it was partially out of boredom, or maybe I can attribute it to greater levels of maturity, or maybe I am just shamefully embarrassed how much I suck in the kitchen, but in any case, learning to cook, for me, means first learning to burn stuff. And burning stuff means the fire alarm goes off, and setting off the fire alarm sends the dog into a dizzying freak out frenzy.

My quest to learn the fine art of using an oven has essentially taught the dog that opening the oven door sets of waves of ear piercing shrieking fire alarm sounds often accompanied by a stenchful black cloud of incinerated food stuffs.

Although I have, for the most part, moved past the stage of assassinating everything I put in the oven, the dog has not forgotten the holy hell he’s been through while I perfected the art of temperature setting and using timers. To this day, the oven is a mysterious orifice of doom and terror that must be bounteously barked at and defended from the evil wrath of whatever lies behind its door – as sadly demonstrated in the video below.

Speaking of dogs, our friends just had a litter of the most magnetically adorable black and yellow labs. They live on a farm with wide open space and giant pond where the dogs swim and fetch sticks. They love their babies, and live with five of the most gorgeous and sweet champion purepred labs I have ever seen. Samson isn’t exactly a purebred, but when united with the blue bloods for a puppy playdate they shared their doggy snacks with him and humoured his boundless energy by running marathon laps around endless field space together.

If you’re looking for a puppy and live in the Toronto/Guelph area, one of these pudgy little munchkins will most definitely enamour and charm their way into your heart and captivate and inflame you with much puppy love.

Labels: Samson, Video

Permanent link to this entry

Comments:

Poor mucking futt.

Posted by Kurt : September 26, 2006

That's hilarious! I'm glad his friends aren't snobs.

Posted by Unknown : September 26, 2006

That's messed up!

Posted by Christi : September 26, 2006

He made me laugh! That is soooo funny!

Posted by Gina : September 26, 2006

That is a riot the dog freaks out when you open the oven.

My girlfriends dog growing up always barked when anyone said cat, or he saw one on tv. He would freak out especially at the Meow Mix commercials. IT WAS HYSTERICAL!

Posted by Kate Giovinco Photography : September 26, 2006

my dogs do the same!!
i keep obsessively checking for the next big bad belly shots?????? it's been awhile.....

Posted by dawnatello : September 26, 2006

He is wagging his tail though.

Posted by Anvilcloud : September 27, 2006

LOL... that was awesome. You have him terrified! :)

Posted by Me : September 27, 2006

Planet's Funniest Animals - $100.00 for a clip like that.

What a great puppy! give him an extra pat for me.

Posted by methatiam : September 27, 2006

Subscribe to comments