| Truthiness |
I don’t know what’s worse, having gained 16 pounds with most of it showing in my face followed by my butterball belly, followed by my distended belly button, or the fact that my husband told me I look good in his fat clothes.
Because I don’t fit in any of my t-shirts without exposing a bulging belly button anymore, I have been forced to raid my husband’s clothes in search of accoutrements suitable for bumming around the house. My husband has lost a lot of weight recently (between 60/70 lbs -- its hard to say for sure because he lifts weights and has added a lot of muscle to replace fat), and that has left me with a vast selection of balloonishly bulky clothing to drape over my convexly shape.
Digging through his fat clothes drawer, I found a smashingly trashy free with purchase of a case of Budweiser beer t-shirt that was most appropriately sized for ginormous beer bellies, although perhaps not so appropriately suitable for my pregnancy bump. Feeling light and airy and freed from the constrictions of my less than desirable over exposed belly baring threads, I graced my stomach down the stairs and proudly proclaimed to my husband that I was taking over his fat clothes.
In a moment of awkward truthiness, my husband glanced over at me and said, “Hey that looks really good on you.”
And in my befuckled state from hearing that tent shaped beer labeled clothing that has been sitting in drawer collecting dust under the label of fat clothes was suddenly becoming on me, I scowled and grimaced and shot daggers with my eyes until he realized the horrible mistake he had made.
In a failed attempt to emancipate himself from the wrath of my darkening hormonal sensitivity, he quickly retracted his statement and pulled out the boob card with, “I mean your boobs look great in that shirt.”
Glancing in the hallway mirror I realized that the parachute draping over my shoulders curtained out any womanly signs of boobiliciousness that may be hiding underneath. His attempt to bullshit his way out of the dog house by complimenting my new C cup chest had failed.
My sex appeal factor has officially been downgraded and plutoed to zilch, but at least this 16lbs hasn’t found it’s way to my ass yet. I’m not ready to give in and start wearing granny panties. Labels: Mark, Pregnancy |
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Hi Carla.
Just wanted to say “Hi”, but there’s no way I’m commenting on this one. ;0)
I got all excited last night b/c I put on one of Trey's t-shirts to sleep in and it still fit over my belly! I was all, "Look, Trey, it's so tight it makes me look all...pregnanty..." Thankfully, he already knows I'm insane. I've decided that at every chance now I'm going to wear his shirts, b/c that way people will think I really am, instead of just fat. At work few people have figured out I'm prego yet (except the ones I've told) b/c my uniform shirt is so big (for room to grow into it) that I just look like a fat chick. No wonder I'm not getting any better tips for my wonderful pregnancy service!
Poor Mr. Cain. He's screwed no matter what he says! ;)
Though it's obvious that you don't feel sexy, you're one of the most gorgeous pregnant women I've ever seen, darling!
Treat yourself - go get some new clothes. Some that still make you feel girly and cute, but that fit you as comfortabily as his old fat shirts will.
I am positive that you look absolutely gorgeous. Free beer shirt or no.
And I think I am now in love with the word "befuckled."
hahahaha karla u always make me laugh
16 pounds does not constitute being 'fat'. Let's have this talk when you've gained 48.
K?
:)
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Tuesday, September 12, 2006
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methatiam : September 12, 2006 
