untanglingknots.com: A Change in Plans

by Karla ° Sunday, February 17, 2008

There has been a drastic change in plans for the upcoming wedding. And by drastic, I mean saying goodbye to idea that I was going to wear high heels to this event.

The shoes that I had planned to wear with the dress I bought were a strappy black number with three inch spikes for heels. I must have been a talented beam balancing gymnast is a previous life, because those shoes saw me through several alcohol-fuelled weddings and late night jaunts to the bar in the past, and as far as I can remember, I never once tripped and broke my neck. But a completely sober kid-on-hip test quickly alerted me to the fact that me, in heels and a thong (and friends, there are only very specific circumstances in life that would prompt me to wear an uncomfortable thong, and trying to look sexy for married sex is not even one of them), combined with a dangerously plunging neckline and a toddler on my hip is a recipe for disaster.

I’m not sure why pointing out that there is a thong involved in this equation matters, but it does. Probably because if I tipped over on those heels and fell, the exposing of my stark-white ass cheeks would be just as alarming as flashing my barely there post-nursing boobs.

I just can’t do it, wear heels that is, especially now that I will be carrying Nate down the aisle.

And so enters a pair of pleated ballerina flats.

I don’t love them. I prefer heels because they have this certain je ne sais quoi about them that these flat shoes lack. Maybe it’s a high heel's ability to tone and cast shapely shadows on calf muscles. Or the boost of confidence that comes with their instant leg-lengthening and derrière-lifting improvements. Or better still, maybe it’s the unspoken touch of elegance they add to my stride. In any case, I feel unfinished without them, but entirely relieved that I can now stand upright and support the weight of another human precariously perched on my hip.

Unimportant things that are really not all that interesting to note about this picture:

- Samson looks like he is about to take a giant dump, right there in the middle of my living room floor.

- Sadly, the finger prints all over the mirror are too high up to blame on Nate. This hall closet mirror has become the spot where I hastily splash on concealer and mascara in the morning while simultaneously keeping a watchful eye on Nate and a giant shovy shover of a dog.

- Our ottoman now doubles as a barricade to stop Nate from climbing stairs and from fishing for treasures in the toilet.

-I am wearing my stick-on boobs, er, I mean bra. Can you tell? Yeah, me neither.

Next item to contend with: Wearing a dress with a deeply plunging neckline to an event that will require the hauling around of a shirt-grappling toddler at my side.

Labels: It's All About Me, Thinking Out Loud

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Comments:

I wore a plunging dress for a wedding with a shirt grabbing 8 month old in 2006.

Surprisingly no one really notices after a few drinks.

Posted by Anonymous : February 17, 2008

you have something covering your boobs it will all be ok.

What about a pair of short healed shoes?

Posted by Kate Giovinco Photography : February 17, 2008

oh and I do like the flats you look great but I know what you mean about high heels having something sexy about them.

Posted by Kate Giovinco Photography : February 17, 2008

But Karla, you don't look an inch under 12 feet in that pictures, so you really don't need the heels. And the flats are so cute!

Posted by Anonymous : February 17, 2008

you look great - you know I was a reader in a wedding when I had a nursing 4 month old. I don't remember much, just that I bought a sling to match my dress and a new bra. The rest is all a blur.

Posted by Unknown : February 17, 2008

Tis me, Tasmanian Alison.
You look fantastic. Mr. Nathan in his tux will look great along side you.
I'm tired. Why can't I be in Canada so it'd be night time? Agh.

Posted by Alison : February 18, 2008

Look at the pipes on ya! You are ripped!

It's funny how much something small like shoes can change the way you feel about yourself in a hot little number. The ballerina slippers do the trick just nicely!

Have fun girlfriend!

Posted by Anonymous : February 18, 2008

Hi Karla
I worked out how to get here at last (hurray!!!!). You look really lovely in that dress and the shoes are great, I think that flats are a good idea when carrying a little one, last thing you want is to fall over (thong and all!!!). Glad you decided to walk down the aisle with Nate, that was a good choice, at least you can relax and enjoy yourself, without worrying about him.
I hope you have a fantastic time.

Posted by Anonymous : February 18, 2008

Might I suggest threading a small bit of fishing line through the neckline to offer the teensiest little bit of extra insurance?

Posted by Amanda : February 18, 2008

HOW ABOUT TOSSING A PAIR OF HEELS IN THE CAR FOR AFTER THE CEREMONY?? DONT YOU USUALLY TAKE THEM OFF WHEN DANCING AT THE RECEPTION ANYWAY?
I WOULD KILL FOR YOUR BOD BY THE WAY!!

Posted by SHAYNA MURRAY : February 18, 2008

Ok, I would get a needle with a slightly larger hole and thread a bit of fishing line through it. I'd go up maybe an inch to an inch and a half from the bottom of the lunging v and make two loops. The secret being doing it after you put it in so that it doesn't get stretched. You should be able to find the line at a fabric store. It can be tough to know so maybe ask for help. I think the added security and the reminder it will give to not demonstrate your Karla wing span and have your vulnerable parts pop out. I think the other option would be a metallic thread that you could do a couple loops with and it'll just add a bit of sparkle.

I'm no seamstress, just a little Miss MacGyver when the occasion calls for it. Last year I wore a white bra beneath a black dress, which was no problem EXCEPT for the plunging neck line. I spied a bit of black tulle on a plant. I grabbed it and went in the ladies room and wrapped the center part of my bra in it to make it blend. It worked, but oh-my-god-it-itched-like-a mo-fo!

Good luck gorgeous!

You can email me anytime at briars_mama at yahoo dot com

:)

Posted by Amanda : February 18, 2008

OMG Leave the plunging neckline alone... Yes you need to change up SOME things when you have a baby... But fishing line??? You look beautiful, and the slippers are a cute compromise...
The neckline is hot...

Posted by Anonymous : February 19, 2008

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