Half way
by Karla ° Friday, August 11, 2006
Monday will officially mark the halfway point in this pregnancy. I will be 19 weeks. My scheduled c-section will be at 37 weeks and five days (from last menstrual period), or 38 weeks according to my dating ultrasound, which makes sense; the two days difference account for the fact that I don’t ovulate on day 14 of my day 28 cycle, but day 12 or 13.

Why is that important you might be wondering? Even though anywhere from 37 – 42 weeks is considered a full term, there have been cases where babies born at 37 weeks had not reached full lung maturity. It’s a tricky balance here. The goal is to avoid labour at all costs, but deliver as close to my due date as possible. Problem is that I went into labour at 38 weeks and 3 days with Ava and it progressed like a motherfucker with contractions happening right on top of each other with plenty of grape kool aid vomitus projectile matter mixed stomach acid hurls in between.

This halfway point is a milestone of sorts. I am halfway to the end, but nowhere near breathing any sighs of relief. The halfway point also marks an important day of anxious testing and gender forecasting (I think it’s a girl).

I’ll be having a Level II Ultrasound, followed by a fetal echocardiogram at the hospital for Sick Kids. I remember the circumstances under which Ava had her echo done (if you want to read about it, the incredibly long post can be found here).
I found myself at the hospital after decreased fetal movement only to end up admitted when ultrasound detected an irregular heart beat. It was a flutter of activity from that point and I had to spend the night in the hospital until they could schedule me in for a fetal echo the next day. And you know what? After everything was said and done, I was assured everything was fine. PAC’s (Premature Atrial Contractions) are completely normal in pregnancy and was told not to worry.

So I’m trying not to make two plus two equal ten here, but I was told everything was fine last time, and then my baby died! I was also unhopefully told the issue with her heart was something that no ultrasound or echo could ever detect. I feel mixed because a positive test result should be taken as a good sign, a successful milestone and give us a little peace of mind. Knowing it’s not a guarantee or a fix-all, make remaining optimistic difficult. My husband made a good point last night as I wept. For us, having a baby has only meant strained marital relationships during the trying to conceive phase, and then death and dying after we became pregnant and delivered our baby, and then more strained marital relations trying to come together on the same page about having kids again, and then more death and dying after having a miscarriage. That’s our only experience with pregnancy and trying to start a family – death and tears mixed with a fierce love and commitment that is the glue that holds our marriage together.

I guess what I am trying to say is that no test will put me at ease until a live, breathing baby is snuggled sweetly in my arms, lulled by the sound of my voice and warmth of my skin.

Winning the divisiveness my husband and I share on the name game might help a smidge too. I still have yet to convince Mark that naming a little girl in his honour with a name like “Markette” will forever condemn this kid to a life of bullying, black eyes and stolen lunches.



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Comments:


Markette is terrible...there is no way you could do that to a sweet precious little one!

Karla I will be thinking of you! It is only a matter of time before you will be holding your baby again! I am thinking onl good thoughts.

good luck today and as hard as this is every little bit of positive is one step to a healthy baby and mama!
Posted by Blogger TBG :  August 11, 2006
 

http://www.babynamesworld.com/search.php?tab=3&f_gender=2&f_start=mark&f_submit=1&asearch=1&browseby=1

here's six other options.

I'd be afraid they'd call her "Super-Market"

hang in there.
Posted by Blogger methatiam :  August 11, 2006
 

If it makes you feel any better, Trey wanted to name Taryn 'Chlamydia'. Just keep in mind that you, the mommy, get to fill out the birth certificate! Tsryn will thank me one day for that!

I have a good feeling about this pregnancy, so I know this round of testing will go just fine. I'm keeping you in my prayers.

Oh, and you MUST let us know if you find out what it is, b/c I feel like it's a boy. Of course, I'm always wrong, so...
Posted by Blogger Christi :  August 11, 2006
 

Congratulations on being on the half way point to giving birth to Markette.
Pregnancy would be a lot better if women just gave birth when they conceived and then spent the next 9 months getting really huge and then went into labor and deflated..Where is science when you need it..
 

I can totally understand your fears. I think every pregnant woman (especially those considered high risk) has moments where they despair that their child will be healthy. In your case, I'm sure that is compounded tenfold.

You are in my thoughts, and I'll be sure to keep that juju coming!
Posted by Blogger Gina :  August 11, 2006
 

hey

well I was born @ 31 weeks but then again I'm a twin :)
Posted by Blogger rachael :  August 11, 2006
 

I have a feeling it's a boy. I'll be back tonight, so I hope you update with the answer!
Posted by Blogger Julia :  August 11, 2006
 

Ummm, where's the update?
Posted by Blogger Christi :  August 11, 2006
 

Oh I love the name Markette! TOO CUTE!

I totally understand all of your concerns. It is unfair that your "inocence" about pregnancy and child birth was robbed from you. So many people NEVER HAVE A CLUE of how many things can happen and get to live blissfully unaware. Must be nice eh....I wouldnt know.

I won't tell you to relax because I know you won't until you are holding that little one in your arms, knowing that all you have been through was worth it and that Ava has a little Mark or Markette to watch over now.

Can't wait to hear an update.

Trish
www.caringbridge.com/fl/makilyangel
Posted by Blogger Patyrish :  August 12, 2006
 

Oops. Sorry everyone. The ultrasound and Echo is on Monday. Obviously, I already have pregnancy brain and cannot string coherent sentences together.
Posted by Blogger Karla :  August 12, 2006
 

Just for the record everyone I don't actually want my baby named Markette (no offense if there are actually any Markettes in the world).

Karla and I had been discussing whether or not to name the new baby after ourselves. I mentioned that if it's a boy his name could easily be Karl or Karla for a girl.

Whereas for a boy he could become Mark and girl would, well obviously, be Markette.
Posted by Blogger Daemon Cain :  August 12, 2006
 

Hang in there. I want to hope for the best for you. I feel like it is a season of birth. My 3 friends who had miscarriages at the end of last year are all pregnant again and doing great! One woman is 36 weeks, one about 28 and one only 14, and my one friend who was told she would never ever have a kid is pregnant and almost due=) So some things to hold onto.

Although I don't blame you for not being too hopeful or too sure of this pregnancy. But I think about you and send prayer your way often. I feel bad someone like you has to go through such heartache.
Posted by Blogger Donna :  August 12, 2006
 

wow. i didn't realize that you went through that heart stuff with ava before she was born.

good luck with the test even though it wouldn't be putting me at ease either.

aznd how about markla??
Posted by Blogger dawnatello :  August 12, 2006
 

hai karla
any way i understand a little reading ur blog as my mothertonguew is not english.but its very happy for me to see families any where in thwe woprld.and its very interesting to see ur picture posts.any way congrats for writing such a nice blog
 

http://www.indianadsense.blogspot.com
Posted by Anonymous Anonymous :  February 06, 2007
 


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