Split Milk
by Karla ° Wednesday, July 26, 2006
Sometimes I wonder how I am going to deal with sticky fingers, spilt milk and rotten food items under the sofa cushions when my in-utero baby enters the kingdom of toddlerhood and mastering the fork.

I have a tendency to like un-child proofed things. Actually, add un-animal proofed things to that.


Take my $500 gold threaded red velvet quilt, for example. Why in the world I thought it would be a good idea when I have a yellow dog, a white cat and black cat going gray is beyond me. But it was so fabulous and luxurious and Ava had just died and my head wasn’t on straight. Of course there’s the fact that all my bed sheets are black. Nothing screams a barnyard’s worth of animals live in this house than black sheets with a vigorous coating of cat and dog fur.

And then there’s the 52 inch big screen TV. The kind where you don’t want your dog’s nose prints plastered all over the delicate screen, but your dog does it anyways when the yapping mutts from the Purina commercial come on TV. I shudder at all the finger prints I’ll be discovering later on that!

Of course there’s the wooden surface of my one year old new Pier One bedroom suite that has been rendered to a sad state of butcheredness from my cats performing their trademark Flintstones take off in chase of ghostly things no one else can see but them.

Oh, and let’s not forget my suede place mats. Who in the world has kids and suede place mats? I just don’t know if I am ready to switch to flowery rubberized-easy-to-wipe table clothes.

The most distressing thing was when my ultra-hyper still teething puppy jumped up and tore a hole in the back of my rather pricey lamb skin leather jacket. I’m still a bit traumatized over that.

I guess living in this animal farm has somewhat prepared me for the messiness and destructiveness of toddlerhood. I have finally accepted that my carpets forever look filthy because of my dog’s bizarre desire to drag individual kibbles on it to eat. I’ve learned to embrace the warmth of the fuzzy fur plastered to all of my sheets and my TV is big enough to look at other parts of the screen to avoid the dog snot.

I’m just not sure how I’m going to feel about discovering rotting chicken fingers behind the couch and dead frogs in the toy box. Surely, suede place mats won’t fare well when faced with the wrath of ground in apple sauce and ketchup stains.


At least I have a few years still to allow these inevitable changes to sink in slowly.

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Comments:


Ah the joys of pethood will definitely ready you for childhood.... sorta :)
Posted by Blogger Unknown :  July 26, 2006
 

Oh yes, it starts much earlier than toddlerhood, Karla!

Babies can and do spit up and throw up and pee and poop out of diapers and such. Not to mention the drool. Which if you are a fastidious person, will drive you nuts because it's all over everything the baby touches. And then everything kinda sticks to the baby as well, so if you think your black sheets are bad... ;)
Posted by Blogger Gina :  July 26, 2006
 

This is the part of motherhood that I'm not looking forward to... the messiness. Then again, I've already dealt with explosive poop diapers (and 3 changes of clothes in ONE day), so I guess I'm prepared for peanut butter and jelly all over the TV, huh? ;) Don't worry -- I'm sure we'll both love every minute of it.
Posted by Blogger Unknown :  July 26, 2006
 

Just wait honey!! Just wait!! LOL!! We are ranting our current home and the walls were soooo ugly and after 4 years we finally invested and painted all of them...had an artist do our color sceme etc. It looks beautiful...first it was a few stray crayon marks, boogers, and yesturday...permanent marker...::sigh::. Time to get the paint brushes out, even though I am sure this will happen again, and again. But seriously it is well worth it.

Oh yeah, and I gave up on washing the windows..it is a huge waste of time. Buy slip cover to protect your couches...and while your at it coat your whole house in sheets of plastic=)

So worth it...so worth it they are!!
Posted by Blogger Donna :  July 26, 2006
 

It's not all that bad. Just build a shed in the back yard and keep your kid and pets in there..
The dogs already eating cat poo so cleanup should be a breeze..
Posted by Anonymous Anonymous :  July 26, 2006
 

Hey, are you just trying to show off all the cool stuff that you've got? Yeah, it's pretty now, but soon your house will have accessories and accents in nice colors such as neon green and pink!

Animals are ten times messier than kids. We've managed to keep our house looking somewhat decent (when Trey's not in charge, that is), and that was even when I was watching 2-3 extra ones each day! My advice, make rules about where food can be eaten and stick to them, and make sure to ALWAYS wipe them off before they leave the table! I have such a problem with mess. Oh, and we used to have really cool bamboo placemats, and they didn't get destroyed...of course that's b/c we just put them away completely! (PS-those stupid kid mats just make cleaning harder...just wipe the table off!) I agree with someone up there...the drool and spit-up is ten times worse than what toddlers can do.

My car, on the other hand, is shot!
Posted by Blogger Christi :  July 26, 2006
 

ha ha ha
i was laughin at this as i was looking at the dust bunnies growing under my couch.....they are getting nearlky as big as one of my dogs!!
Posted by Blogger dawnatello :  July 26, 2006
 

So, yoe keep chickens. And they have fingers? And these fingers are rotting? And this is occurring behind the couch?
Posted by Blogger Anvilcloud :  July 28, 2006
 

I have been a lurker here for a very long time and thought I would say hi.
Yup. Kids are messy. Really messy. I now own nothing that is "nice" anymore. The little darlings saw to that. However, every stain, dent, scuff, smear, scratch and warp is worth it. Sometimes I wonder what it will be like when they are grown up and gone and everything is "nice" again and it makes me more than just a little sad.
;)
Posted by Blogger BarbaraMG :  July 28, 2006
 


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