Miracle Departure
by Karla ° Wednesday, October 29, 2008
Before leaving to visit B, there were a few things around the house that I wanted to take care of, so I made a small list so that I wouldn’t forget anything. Any by small list, I mean it’s a freaking miracle I was out the door by 8:00am.

I like to call this miracle caffeine.

To Do:
• Grill chicken breasts for Mark's lunches
• Wash Mark’s work clothes
• Empty dishwasher
• Reload dishwasher
• Break the news to Mark that there are no more home made chocolate chip cookies left
• Bathe Nate
• Bathe myself
• Sweep the floors
• Wash the floors
• Pay the bills
• Balance the budget
• Clean the bathrooms
• Windex
• Polish wood furniture
• Clean kitty litter
• Pick up Samson’s shit in the backyard
• Charge cell phone battery
• Charge camera battery
• Charge flash batteries
• Bake muffins for Mark’s mid-morning snack
• Shop for groceries
• Make sure there is plenty of frozen pizza for Mark to eat
• Wash produce
• Pack overnight bags
• Empty diaper genie shit snake
• Fill van with gas
• Fill Mark’s car with gas
• Take out garbage
• Iron Mark’s shirts
• Leave a new pair of Aussie Bum underwear on Mark’s pillow for him to add to his collection with a goal of distracting him from the fact, in my absence, he will have no one to have sex with and the dog totally knows it and will insist on some man on man cuddling and spooning in our king-sized bed
• Feed the cats
• Feed the dog
• Give cats and dog fresh water
• Chop celery into bite-sized pieces for Mark’s mid-afternoon snack
• Remind Mark to make sure to let Samson out for his morning dump
• Pack toothbrush
• Burn music CD to drown out the inevitable whining of a toddler who, in toddler terms, will argue that this upcoming road trip requires being strapped into a carseat for ETERNITY.
• Map out every single McDonald's on the way to help cope with the relentless whining and chanting from the back seat of an unnamed toddler keen on a FRY! A FRY! A FRY! A FRY! SCREEEEEEECH! A FRY!

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My husband, if he were ever allowed to read this, would demand an upgrade.

Also, did you really do all these things? If so, I kind of want to marry you, too.

(I think it's wonderful that you do so much for your family. You're inspiring.)

I need to marry you. After child #2 I told my husband I wasn't cooking anymore. Once I got away with that, it was all downhill for him. Mine's lucky if I remember to do the grocery shopping before I leave for a trip somewhere.

You truly are a super-wife! (And I really do mean that in a super awesomely nice way!)
Posted by Blogger Kris :  October 29, 2008

I am suprised that you EVER made it out of the door!!
Good luck with the trip and safe journey! XXXX
Posted by Blogger Tabitha :  October 29, 2008

I bow down to you...


tell your husband to kiss your feet and worship the ground you walk on, because you are the messiah of wives out there.
Posted by Blogger joyce :  October 29, 2008

You guys are all way too kind. I really must confess that I started all of this on Sunday. Trust me, I didn't wake up at 5:00 am to bake muffins. :)
Posted by Blogger karla :  October 30, 2008

I can't believe you cut up celery for Mark into bite site pieces.
Posted by Anonymous Anonymous :  October 30, 2008

Bite size, like, skinny sticks of celery.
Posted by Blogger karla :  October 30, 2008

Let me just be the one to say it... What the HEll does the hubby do? Bite size celery - what the hell?
Posted by Anonymous Anonymous :  October 30, 2008

You gave up a perfectly good career to become a Stepford Wife. I hope you’re happy.
Posted by Anonymous Anonymous :  October 30, 2008

She's not a Stepford wife. That's very rude. She's just doing what makes her happy and content (amongst the planning madness), which is caring for her family. Maybe you (anonymous) are jealous because your everyday, same routine, career sucks!
Good job at accomplishing so much Karla! You're an amazing Mommy and even better wifey!
Posted by Anonymous Loveys_Mom :  October 30, 2008

That is amazing that you got away on you trip at all!
Lucky Mark ~ i hope he realises how lucky he is!
Have a good and safe trip!
Amanda x
Posted by Blogger Amanda :  October 30, 2008

Wow your hubby better appreciate all that you do! You should ask him to pick you up a gorgeous diamond necklace from www.idonowidont.com and have a romantic night in! That's what I did when I cleaned the entire house from top to bottom recently!
Posted by Anonymous MichelleB :  October 30, 2008

Some people do things for the people they love because it's a way of expressing it. She makes his food and does his laundry. I don't think that's so unusual for married couples when one spouse works outside the home and the other doesn't.

Have a great trip, Karla.
Posted by Blogger Julia :  October 31, 2008

I did this sort of thing in my first marriage, uh never again. My husband now (2nd and final!) would faint if I did these things for him. I cook, clean, do dishes, and his laundry. I just dont cut food into bite size pieces LOL! I'm not changing anything because we hardly ever have a disagreement! Mark should really appreciate this, which I'm sure he does. I say whatever works for a couple and as long as you are happy! :)
Posted by Anonymous Kami :  November 01, 2008

Way to go Karla you rock the wife and mother, friend, and all around awesome person roles.

I always love the anonymous comments and who really cares if you cut Mark's food for snack and make his lunch I think that is nice that you do things like that for him.
Posted by Blogger TBG :  November 02, 2008


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