untanglingknots.com: The Proverbial Pregnancy Waddle

by Karla ° Tuesday, October 24, 2006

The part about pregnancy that hurts my ego the most has become a sauntering certainty. My ability to strut and stroll with gingerly grace has been replaced with a wobbly toddle and I now resemble something between that of a shuffling duck and a plumpish penguin when I walk.

My center of gravity has blasted off on an interstellar space travel mission leaving me with the challenging task of finding a steady equilibrium between balancing the giant pumpkin harvesting in my uterus and avoiding an extreme face plant amongst carpet fibers when tying a shoe.

And you would think with all the pregnancy hormones softening the ligaments in my pelvis and spreading my hips I would be spared the sensation of my meatier maternal thighs rubbing together with a enough vigor to build a campfire in my loins, but apparently finding comic relief from taking on the role of gestating goddess remains something to be found only in hindsight once the Stay Puff Marshmallow Man physique deflates.

But even though Hef won’t be inviting me to hang with him in the grotto any time soon - or ever - and I now have to muster up enough centrifugal force to defy gravity and break the sound barrier to hurl myself out of bed, I really am quite fond and attached to the spheroid shape protruding from my body. I’m going to miss this belly when it’s gone, particularly the champion worthy kick boxing skills my little boy insists on practicing every time I feed him a peach.

Labels: Comic Relief, Pregnancy

Permanent link to this entry

Comments:

Sometimes pregnancy is such a trying time... but I always miss it now... it's so different to have that baby on the outside of your body!!

Posted by Unknown : October 24, 2006

My boss yelled at me the other day b/c she said she's tired of seeing me waddle around the restaurant anymore!

I totally feel your pain!

Posted by Christi : October 24, 2006

The only thing I miss about being pregnant is that wiggling, kicking baby inside me. Even after 18 years, I remember how it felt. And I miss it.

Posted by Linda : October 24, 2006

I like when women get to the waddling stage of their pregnancy. It's so much easier to beat them to the last shopping cart..

Posted by Anonymous : October 24, 2006

The pregnant waddle! My husband likes to say I start the waddle earlier than most, but I think he's just not seeing straight! I always miss my belly when it's no longer there too!
amberldean.blogspot.com

Posted by Amber : October 24, 2006

WonderBaby bust the fetal moves for oranges or orange juice, and they are still guaranteed to get her happy on now, 11 months after womb eviction.

Posted by Her Bad Mother : October 25, 2006

I kick when fed peaches too.

Posted by methatiam : October 25, 2006

The trick is to kinda lean back when you are walking.

And when Mr. P was en womb, he would wake me up at the same time every night, 2am, with his gymnastics.

Posted by Gina : October 25, 2006

i, too, grew fond of the belly each time. just enuf to outweigh (ha) the annoyances of walking and/or rolling. i enjoy your puffed-up analogies...:) we truly do write best about experience...

Posted by Bek : October 25, 2006

Subscribe to comments