Having a stuffy nose, germ cooties erecting sandpaper skyscrapers in the lining of my esophagus and a uterus the size of a beach ball all the same time makes the seemingly simple act of eating and breathing one hell of a challenge.

When I chew, I cannot breathe and am left gasping for air between mouthfuls of food.

Even though I can manage to get enough oxygen to make it through a meal, my uterus hogs all the room that my stomach used to have to accommodate food, and what little space is left in my stomach causes my lungs to flatten up against my left rib in a suffocating struggle for roominess.

All of this has left me with a terrible terrible dilemma.

My stomach has so little room for food these days that the bag of chips I bought to eat last Friday remains uneaten. That’s five days of tantalizing temptation that I haven’t been able to give into. It’s a gruesome tragedy really, but every time I think about devouring them, I realize that I haven’t eaten enough fruit yet or I still have a serving of veggies to pack away. And just when I think I’ve actually squeezed enough nutrition into my belly for the baby, I’ll realize that I still have to cram some calcium in there for good measure.

By the time I get all the bare minimums out the way, I’ve either fallen asleep or I'm so full I can't even fathom wobbling to the cupboard to get them. I do however, have a keen chip thief radar and have caught my husband more than once riffling through the cupboards in search of them. They are mine, and I will eat them, just as soon as a I figure out a way to stuff them inside of me without bursting.