| The End is Near |
The end of this pregnancy is near and the arrival of this baby is so close. It really is.
Yesterday’s visit at my Perinatologists office marked an important milestone in this pregnancy - I am finally in weekly visit mode.
The next five weeks will consist of weekly Biophysical Profile Ultrasounds and visits with my Perinatologist. Also in the coming weeks we will be meeting with our Pediatrician (who also happens to be the doctor who was supposed to monitor Ava after she was born, who also, incidentally, was on call the day she was born and delivered the news to my husband that she wasn’t going to make it).
Note to self: Do not be a bitter asshole when she concludes the appointment by telling us that everything looks honky dory and spew out a snarky comment about her saying the exact same thing about Ava.
Once Nate is born, I’ll miss the hustle and bustle that is downtown Toronto. It’s taking me time to admit it, but tiny fragments of wistful nostalgia set in every now and then since quitting my job downtown. My doctors appointments give me an excuse to reconnect (or at least waddle amongst) the sky scrappers and brief case-clad business suits of Bay Street.
I will not however, miss the overcrowded waiting rooms that seem to suck time into a black hole of confinement and boredom while waiting four or more hours every single time I am there for an ultrasound and a visit with the doctor. Also not to be missed is the fleeting urge to kick the street rats better known as pigeons that flock and frolic in droves along busy pedestrian lined sidewalks. I used the think they were cute when I lived in a west end apartment until I made the terrible mistake of letting them procreate on my balcony. Apparently, providing a safe haven to lay eggs was also fair game to turn my balcony into a biohazard of feathers and mountainous piles of shit.
Speaking of safe havens, I have decided to go ahead with a c-section.
Because this is a “cold” c-section however, and no labour (or squeezing of the baby) will take place, my OB has discussed the probability that Nate may encounter breathing difficulties and require oxygen and/or a few days in the NICU.
I feel like I am being forced to choose between the lesser of two evils, but lung immaturity or respiratory issues from no labour seems far less permanent than the possibility of death if my labour progresses like it did with Ava and this baby has the same heart issue and inability to cope with it’s intensity.
This decision feels like such a beastly burden and to say that I am scared would be an understatement.
Does anyone have any advice for not freaking out about committing weeks in advance to having my stomach cut open and my innards violated?
Labels: Birth, Pregnancy, Thinking Out Loud |
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It was nice talking to you this morning. Again, I hope I have helped a bit in making you feel a little more comfortable when that big day comes. Big hugs to you and I can't wait to meet NATE.
If you feel less fearful about the c-section than facing labour and all the complications that might happen there, then you have made the right decision for you. Rest in that and focus on the joy to come.
Left foot, right foot, left foot - breathe! One step at a time and soon Nate will be here.
I think you will be compensated for missing the skyscrapers. Enjoy the countdown.
We make the best decisions that we can with the information that we have. That's about all we can do.
A friend of mine just had a planned c-section for her breech baby and all went well. Their baby was a little mucousy in he lungs but required no special treatment.
Both you and Nate are in our prayers always.
Why the probability for NICU?? because your c section will be earlier than most?? So many babies are due to cold c-sections and aren't put in NICU.
I think your choice will be the perfect one. Nate will be here before you know it. I cannot wait until the day I click on your blog and see the good news.
Praying still!
You've plumbed the depths.
Now, don't think about it any more.
No matter what, this experience WILL be different than the last.
Try to relax and enjoy the wait!
(she says...she who cannot live this way herself...)
No advice, but lots of support.
Also no advice, but lots of warm wishes are coming your way as always. You will do wonderful and soon baby Nate will be safe in your arms where he is suppose to be!! Thinking of you always!!
I usually lurk, but had to tell you a c-section is ok. In your situation, it's BETTER than ok, and it's normal to be scared.
I had a csection with my son Noah and he's fine. No lung issues, no NICU, and good breathing. He even had meconium in his waters.
Recovering isn't fun, but it's worth it.
Reading your post made me a little nostalgia for downtown Toronto. I once (many years ago) worked at St. Michael's Hospital and have many fond memories of TO. It is quite the city.
Personally I have not had any experiences with c-sections but I certainly have many friends who delivered happy thriving babies that way.
I have had 2 c-sections, the first at 42 weeks, the second at 38 weeks, and neither baby spent any time in the NICU. Both of them did great, as I am sure little Nate will do!
I was doped up and delirious for my first section, because it was emergent after 37 hours of labor. It was kind of a blur.
My second one was planned, and such a different experience. I actually had time to worry and fret a little, but it turned out great. I had time to enjoy it all--no labor pain, clear mind, and I got to breastfeed in recovery--what more can a gal ask for??
I hope this can offer you a little comfort. I work in a newborn nursery and a NICU, and I can't tell you how many c-sections I have attended as the baby nurse. Some were emergent, some were elective, but very few have had complications worthy of a NICU stay.
I will be praying for you guys, that this goes as smoothly, stress-free, and joyous as possible.
Oh, we could give you advice but I'm fairly sure it won't help. ;)
You are going to be nervous until you are holding that little guy in your arms and you finally know all is well in the world.
I can always count on all you lovely bloggers to say someting witty and helpful. Thank you!
Donna: I think my OB was giving me the worst case scenario's. I know she doesnt mean to scare me, but I guess she is trying her best to help me prepare and understand all potential outcomes.
Sending so many wonderfully good thougthts your way. I know this doesn't help but 2 of my friends did a C-section the same way and it all turned out okay. Nate will be okay.
You are in my thoughts and I look forward to hearing all about the good news.
Maybe you could join the Toronto mama bloggers on one of our get togethers sometime for a reason to come into the city again :)
I think you made a good choice. Not that I know anything. Cheering for your choice. Woohoo..
Karla, I can relate to Deborah. What I tried to example to you today was pretty much how Deborah's experience went. I hope we have made you more relaxed about the whole thing. I know things will go great. HUGS.
Awwww, lovey. Women have c-sections all the time... and they do well! Little Man will be fine, I am sure of it.
You humble me with your courage, strength and grace.
Can't wait to be here to celebrate the arrival of your baby.
Cheers to you.
Take deep breaths. Meditate. Light candles. Curl up on the couch and read a book to little Nate. Do whatever it takes to find stillness and peace. You are doing the best you know how for that dear little baby, and that is all that counts.
My advice is: Listen to Cuppa and Heather! ;)
I had a C with Mr. P at 36 weeks and he was fine, unless Nate is coming very early, which he isn't, the probability of NICU is very low IMHO.
((Karla))
I think having the "cold c-section" is a great choice, and I think deep down, you know what you're doing, and you know you're making the right choices for your little one. I can't wait to see his little face :-)
FOUR HOURS!!! I'd be freaking out that they couldn't get it done fast enough so I could stop waiting that long!
Really, though...you've gone through it before, and you came out alright (physically, of course). I'm quite sure everything will go fine this time...and your innards will be glad to be violated for the cause!
Trust your heart and keep coming back to what you believe.
Only when all of this is behind you will you have proof or validation that this is the best choice. It won't come before Nate's birth.
This is yet another decision that you will fret over in your parenthood journey. The big and important decisions are never easy - but they all require you to trust your gut and keep coming back to what you believe.
I KNOW you can do this....with grace and success. I just know it. (and THAT'S what I believe :)
I also wanted to add (based on seeing your last paragraph again) that it's NEVER too late to change your mind until it's being done.
That's not to say that I think you should change your mind (or shouldn't) - but to let you know that you are NOT pouring cement today....you are making difficult decisions based on instinct, fear, information, desire, recommendations and guidance from your caregivers and options that have been presented with you. No one thinks that you came about this with a cavalier attitude and if they do - screw 'em, cause they don't know the truth.
You're also finishing out a glorious pregnancy and anticipating all the joy that you will be experiencing when you hold your little baby. Your heart isn't going to be able to hold all that joy.....so it's going to spill out into ours when you share the news....and then we won't be able to hold it either.
You aren't pouring cement.
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Tuesday, November 14, 2006
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Tammy : November 14, 2006 
