Third Time's a Charm...we hope....
by Karla ° Monday, May 29, 2006
With much joy and profound hope, Mark and I would like to announce that we are expecting once again.

The decision to try again after losing Ava was nothing short of difficult and experiencing a miscarriage 10 months later put our fears and sadness to the ultimate test. Unanswered questions, inability for the medical profession to guarantee and healthy outcome and personal feelings of defeat and trepidation meant finding a courage we never we knew we had to embark on a pregnancy journey that we now know all too well, might result in the loss of another child. After the initial shock of our recent miscarriage, the heaviness weighing down our hearts started to lift and the decision became clear. The end result, a beautiful child to love and nurture, far outweighed everything else.

This pregnancy has already been a whirlwind of conflicting emotions. Gone is the innocence and naivety of pregnancy. Ramped is the fear and anxiety we feel with every waking moment. Although we are elated that we have been blessed with another child so quickly, it’s hard not too have some contradictory emotions as the sadness and grief from losing Ava is still very raw and still very strong. Yet, we do remain hopeful.

Knowing Ava will never meet her new little brother or sister tugs deeply at our hearts. Ava was a presence in our life that can never be replaced or forgotten and if we have learned one important lesson from losing Ava, it is how frail and precious life is. I truly enjoyed my first pregnancy, and treasure the bond that was undeniably formed while Ava grew, wiggled and squirmed her way into my heart during the nine months she was inside of me. It is those happy memories and that special connection that will see us through and keep our spirits in high hopes while waiting for the arrival of our baby this Christmas.

Under most circumstances, we would welcome the warm congratulations that generally follow when a couple announces they are pregnant, but right now, we feel far too vulnerable for joyous celebrations and bubbly anticipation. We do welcome any positive thoughts of encouragement and support during this emotional time.

Our hearts remain heavy with hope.

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Let me be the first to offer my wholesome congratulations! You both deserve it, and will make somebody a very happy son / daughter (again). I hope we can see you guys soon, as it's been far too many years! Drop us a line sometime...
Posted by Blogger NegZero :  May 29, 2006

you both honestly just made my heart both truly are incredible people! :)
Posted by Anonymous LisaG :  May 29, 2006

Karla! I am so utterly hopeful and so proud and I think this baby is the luckiest baby in the world to have beautiful parents like you too.

I had a feeling this was where you were.

Thinking of you, as always.
Posted by Anonymous Kristin :  May 29, 2006

Oh, Wow! I came here half expecting to find the post about the heavy've been on my heart so much the past few days.
I'm delighted for you and that precious life growing inside you.
Encouragement? One day at a time. Don't be afraid to bond with this baby because even with your past experience - the likelyhood that you'll have the same experience is very slim.
Love and love boldly!
I do hope that you'll find it acceptable to share this pregnancy with us as you did the other one.
Live with love....not fear.
Posted by Blogger Wash Lady :  May 29, 2006

Oh Karla, I have tears in my eyes remembering so clearly that fear and joy that comes with a subsequent pregnancy after losing a baby and then having a miscarriage too - yes, both happened to me. For me, it was third and fourth time lucky and I have two beautiful daughters who bring more joy than I could ever have imagined in those grief-filled days. Yes, the fear is great during such a pregnancy. If your care-givers are not sensitive enough to what you need during this time, change them. My midwife said I could call her every day to listen to the heartbeat if I wanted to. I didn't, but knowing I could, helped. Hoping and praying for you.
Posted by Blogger Joanna :  May 29, 2006

Oh Karla, my thoughts of encouragement, and prayers of hope, and whatever else I can send your way are with you. Here's hoping you have the same "luck" we had... (like joanna) after a stillbirth, followed by a miscarriage, we gave birth to a perfect little girl who's 4 now and fills our life with joy.

But I know how stressful a pregnancy can be after 2 losses. You never take ANYTHING for granted again.
Posted by Blogger Heather :  May 29, 2006

I, too, hope that the title is spot on!!!

Remmeber what Sir Winston Churchill had to say. I tink it sorta fits.

"Success is the ability to go from one failure to another with no loss of enthusiasm."
Posted by Blogger Anvilcloud :  May 29, 2006

I hope we see you on the TP forum once again, the support from the woman there is awesome. Take one day at a time
*postive, healthy vibes for you and your little one*
Posted by Blogger canadiantania :  May 30, 2006

Truly wonderful news. We will keep you in our prayers.
Posted by Blogger methatiam :  May 30, 2006

Here's to the health of your baby.

Will say prayers for you!
Posted by Blogger Donna :  May 30, 2006

Congratulations!! I am so happy for the two of you.

This is such an exciting time, and I look forward to reading your blogs, and following you on your journey a second time. Warm wishes for a safe, uneventful pregnancy and a healthy baby. God bless!!
Posted by Blogger Deborah :  May 30, 2006

I had a feeling this would be your next post. I am so happy for you! I can only imagine how HAPPY and afraid you are at the same time. I will be praying for a HEALTHY, and happy pregnancy labor and delivery.
Posted by Blogger Patyrish :  May 30, 2006

I am so glad to hear this! You have a lot of people hoping and praying for you. I wish you all the best!
Posted by Blogger Julia :  May 30, 2006

You say taht Ava has never met this brother or sister. I'm sorry but I have to dissagree. Ava has sent this baby to you and already knows this lovely being. I'm sure she is protecting it so that she can see her mommy and daddy happy, truly happy, once again. ((((HUGS)))) and Congratulations!
Posted by Blogger Nickle Annie :  May 30, 2006

As I read I felt excitement & fear with you. You will be in my prayers.
Posted by Blogger Chelsea :  May 31, 2006

Karla and Mark: Good luck on this journey, I will keep you in my prayers that in the end of this journey you have a healthy baby to give all the love you two have. You two are wonderful people that I feel so honored to have meant. Love Kate
Posted by Blogger TBG :  May 31, 2006

Congratulations! I know this must be difficult for you, but I trust and pray that this will be a healthy pregnancy.
Posted by Blogger Tiffany Jordan :  May 31, 2006

Congratulations, and I wish you a safe and healthy pregnancy!
Posted by Anonymous Anonymous :  May 31, 2006

that is the best news i have heard all month! congrats. i can imagine the fear and tredidition mixed with excitment and happiness.
i am still trying to conceive, will keep ya posted!
good luck!!
Posted by Blogger dawnatello :  May 31, 2006

Oh, this news warms my heart. Big hugs to you and Mark.
Posted by Blogger Cuppa :  June 01, 2006

Where the hell have I been?!!! I swear I check here everyday, and I started reading the post two up, and thought I'd been left out in the dark!

I will not say that I'm not feeling nervous right now. However, it's a giddy and hopeful nervousness. I have a renewed reason to pray my heart out every single day for you, and know that I will! Not that I don't pray for you anyway, but now I have a BIG reason! I was just thinking about you today, and how I so wish you would be able to have a baby, so I could feel more comfortable at telling you everything going on in my life, and so I could hear everything exciting going on in yours (of course, I always want to hear that, kid or not!). Julia said she has a really good feeling about this time, and I do, too. If hope is all I have to offer, then believe me, you will get TONS of it. My chest is all tight right now, and oh, if I could afford the gas to get there, I would SO be on my way to give you guys a big ol' hug!
Posted by Blogger Christi :  June 03, 2006

I've checked here often since your last post, always hoping to read this wonderful news, wondering how you are. I thought maybe this is what you'd been up to! Thinking of you and the baby and sending wishes for health, strength, and happiness.
Posted by Anonymous kristin :  June 08, 2006

"...heavy with hope."

How beautifully said.

Blessings to you all!
Posted by Blogger Judy :  June 08, 2006

I am so Happy to hear of your news. You have and will always be in my prayers. I wish nothing but the best for you are Mark. I can't wait until Christmas.
Posted by Blogger Tammy :  June 21, 2006

Hope you don't mind me delurking to send you my thoughts.

I remember after I miscarried and became pregnant again, my dear dear friend said to me that I will never have another innocent pregnancy. This being said after she lost her son being born at 29 weeks. Oh how she was right. We will never have another innocent pregnancy. I call it my 40 week anxiety attack.

But, with that in mind, do know that you have so many arms lifting you up right now when you can't do it yourself. And that's okay. It's okay to feel scared. It's okay to feel nervous. It's also okay to be happy, something that was hard for me to learn.
Posted by Blogger The Princess :  June 28, 2006

I just posted a link on my blog encouraging all of my friends to come visit your blog and read your stories. I directed them first to your last post on We're having a baby, then to Ava's video and finally to this site. I read your entire site on New Years Day this year. I decide since I was asking people to come read your site I should re read it myself just to refresh my memory about how amazing and strong you both are. I got to this post and couldn't help smiling because I know how wonderful things are going with little Nater bug. My son is 18 months old and I just want you to know, I still wake up every single day and worry about him and go to bed every night worrying about him. So, I can only imagine the worry you feel at this time. I can only hope that Nate has brought enough joy to help ease some of the discomfort you have felt in earlier blogs. Also you wrote that Ava would never get to know her brother, but that is not true, I bet she spends every day looking down on him and watching him and giving him gentle angel kisses. Probably, she knows him better then you. You are lucky that your child has his own individual angel. And from watching how much you dote on Nate and love him, then there is no doubt that Ava knows how much she was loved for the time she was here. I hope I remember this year, since this is my first year being familiar with your blog, I would like to let of a balloon for Ava also. I hope you both know how much you have changed my life. How much you make me look into myself and hope that for every situation I encounter I can handle it with the same strength and grace as you and Mark have. Thank you again. And keep the Nater pictures coming.


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