| Living on the Edge…of Obedience |
 When I signed up for puppy school, I was under the impression that all I had to do was show up and let him socialize and hump to receive a cute little diploma to stick on the fridge and brag about. He's a puppy afterall, surely the real meat and potatoes of obedience training came "later".
Somehow I missed the lecture that my dog actually has to pass a final exam to graduate.
That’s just bloomin’ lovely. My human ego now depends on the intelligence of my mutt.
If I had known, I probably would have worked harder at polishing up his puppy manners and increasing his command vocabulary. Don’t get me wrong. I love my dog, and I want a smart pooch, but really, he’s the family pet. I don’t need an Einstein, my husband already does a fine job trying to fill those shoes when he wears his Mr. Fix it hat. As long as he doesn’t drag me down the street when we’re out for a walk and eat my limbs for dinner, it’s all good.
Fearing morbid humiliation and failure come graduation night tomorrow, I started to give our training routines some muscles this past week, desperately willing scholarly puppy intelligence into that blocky head of his.
We’ve come to the mutual understanding that he will only perform between short breaks during our wildly exciting “fetch/bring it back” play sessions. Formality and structure isn’t his strong suit. He likes fun and requires strong motivation to do anything, which is why he basically transforms into a cavorting goof ball in a classroom setting. Sniffing canine crotches, sampling tasty puppy ears, and shoving his head inside his new best friend’s jowls (dear god I am such a loser-yet oddly loving the fact that-we had an “off leash puppy play date” last weekend) is about the depths of performance we get out of him when he is surrounded by members of his own species.
 The fact that his happiness is directly proportional to the intensity of his ass wiggling and that his desire for attention is relative to the epic dynamo that is his whip lashy tail may mean he will never fit in as the neighborhoods most debonair brown nosing pooch prodigy, but he wakes me up every morning with wet gushy nose nudges and sticky tongue slurpies, and that makes me smile, which is something that I rarely do anymore. His ignorance for anything deep makes him numero uno in my books, even if that means his dog snob-humanoid socially inept-trainer hates me and will probably fail us because of it.
Despite Samson's shortcomings, I am hopeful he will wear that graduation cap. Sadly, much of my own dignity is tied to it, and the exhausting lists of tasks he must be able to perform to earn it.
-Sit
-Lay Down
-Puppy Push Ups (Sit and Down repeated over and over quickly)
-Stay (in a sit position) for 30 seconds from a distance
-Stay (in a down position) for 30 seconds from a distance
-Come (with squeaky toy distractions) finished with a sit
-Loose Leash Walk
-Heel
-Leave a treat positioned close to nose
-Take a treat when told
-Drop it (combined with take it)
-Sit for petting
I’m banking that he is just holding back and bursting inside to deliver an outstanding performance that will garner kudo’s from pooches (and humans) all over the land. There’s nothing like living on the edge of suspense.
Samson says: "If you’re not living on the edge, you’re taking up too much room."
Labels: Samson |
Permanent link to this entry
|
|
|
|
|
Are you serious that he has to do all that?! Good grief! We have gotten our dog to fetch and bring the ball to us, and we feel like we're Einstein! Sometimes we can get him to stop biting TJ's butt, but that's rare. I feel bad that I'm not taking him to an obedience class now, but geesh, I dunno if I want a dog smarter than me!
If he can half that I will very impressed with your training techniques even if they don't mesh with the teacher's.
Just remember this: There isn’t ONE puppy in the class cuter that yours!
Wow that's alot for him to do for graduation! Either way he is the cutest dog ever and what's important is that he makes you happy...and you need and deserve that Karla!
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Recently
Monday, April 03, 2006
Thursday, March 30, 2006
Tuesday, March 21, 2006
Wednesday, March 15, 2006
Monday, March 13, 2006
Thursday, March 09, 2006
Monday, January 23, 2006
Sunday, January 15, 2006
Friday, January 13, 2006
Tuesday, January 10, 2006
|
|
|
|
Christi : April 11, 2006 
