Mucking Futt
by Karla ° Tuesday, September 19, 2006
The Mucking Futt is a ball of disgraceful filth at the moment. He has recently developed a new hobby I like to call Project: Back Yard Excavation. He’s been strip mining and burrowing holes with bottomless depths for a few weeks now and my yard is riddled with ankle twisting voids that suggest he may be trying to bore his way to china, unearth hidden treasures that hold the secret to our existence, or find a way to get wretchedly squalid – because he is a dog, and that is what makes him happy.

Unfortunately, the ratio of his innocent borehole glee to mine is way off because the yard now resembles a landmine graveyard that is still riddled with unexploded ordnance just waiting to detonate another canyon sized gorge to trip over.

Backyard craters aside, all his heroic hole digging efforts leaves him looking downright dirty. Once Samson is satisfied with his digging efforts, he proceeds to allow himself the pleasure of an enthusiastic full body jitterbug shimmy with all four legs in the air wiggling and jiggling in the depths of his crater creations. The dirt here has quite a heavy clay content and this seems to help the black streaks bind with plenty of spotted staying power to his yellow fur.

Once boredom from his filth follies starts to set in, he comes hammering on the door with a sly mantis gleam in his eye, dirt still free falling from his jowls and a body so filthy that it magically transforms my vocabulary into that of a scummy brothel owner specializing in services to sailors with Tourettes syndrome.

We bathed him on Sunday, but today, obviously not content with his crisp and beaming state of poochly cleanliness, he has gone and recreated the stinky elegance that is his fur coat covered in black clay dirt again.

Maybe he is having a racial identity crisis. I mean, his distant relatives come in a stunning black and brown variety. Or then again, maybe he truly does prefer himself with hint of putrid dirty stench of worm and other earthly things that live in the ground.

Or maybe it’s just a phase.


To keep his embarrassing dirtiness under wraps, I’ve adorned him in this sartorial splendor. The fact that he is wearing my shirt and we appear to be almost the same size seems a bit buffoonish. No?


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Nine times out of ten, a dog will dig because he’s bored or confined or there is a dramatic break in his lifestyle. For example, did he go on walks with you that he isn’t taking now? Has there been a big disruption in the house as you get ready for the baby?

Teaching him the bell was challenging (I mean for him), but now that he’s mastered it, maybe it’s time for another challenge. Agility training? Getting items for you by name (“fetch the blanket, get the toaster”, OK, not toaster, but you get what I mean).

LOL... hey, if it works, use it!


Luckily our dog wasn't much of a digger. Some are more prone to it though. I remember when BabyGirl worked hard to bathe our 100 lb. dog and the second he was done, took off running, went around to the back yard and rolled into the sand and dirt. Happily.

And since he was still damp it stuck quite well. He was mighty proud of that. Ugh. (Next time we get a dog that does that I'm putting one of my shirts on him too!) LOL.

I can not believe Samson allowed you to put a long sleeved shirt on him. Too funny!

Where are his pants?
Posted by Blogger Kurt :  September 19, 2006

I think this is great. You can now buy a pile more clothes with the excuse that they are for the dog..
And methatiam is correct. Dogs usually dig because they are bored. Buy the poor thing an Xbox..

That shade of blue looks lovely on him. It complements his eyes.
Posted by Blogger Gina :  September 19, 2006

It looks like the donning of the shirt brought on a whole lotta ATTITUDE!

(On a total aside - the word verification for this post has the word "sex" in it! Seems like I should have something clever to say about subliminal messaging, but nothing is coming to me right now.)
Posted by Blogger Heather :  September 19, 2006

hahaha the shirt haha makes him look prostegious
Posted by Blogger rachael :  September 19, 2006

I think his arms are a little skinnier than yours...thank goodness!
Posted by Blogger Christi :  September 19, 2006

he is gonna have a complex, wearing womens shirts and all. :)
Posted by Blogger gina :  September 19, 2006

Teach the poor thing to blog! That's what I do when I'm bored.
I'd never thought of digging holes. Who knows? I might like that better.

You are a wicked good writer!

Posted by Anonymous Anonymous :  September 19, 2006

If you are looking for something to use to keep him clean without a bath they have these "doggy wipes" that you can use inbetween baths and they smell nice and they really help. You can microwave them too if your doggy does not like the feeling of cold wipes. We have an 80lb chow and that is what we use on him and he hates baths, but loves the wipes. Well I hope this Helps!

Posted by Anonymous Anonymous :  September 19, 2006

I have a suggestion...when Mable started digging "landmines" in my yard, I put piles of her dog crap in the holes and filled them back in...Dogs love playing in crap-but they can't stand playing in their own, it repulses them. So it worked with Mable, the next time she dug in any of the holes, she got her own crap on her face and paws, and the digging stopped. It's a gross process, but the results were wonderful!!!


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