The Good, the Bad and the Very Ugly
by Karla ° Wednesday, October 4, 2006

The Good

On Monday of this week, my baby scored perfectly on his biophysical profile ultrasound and it’s been determined that he weighs in ahead of his unborn peers at a staggering 2lbs already. Also, my placenta has shimmied every so slightly from the opening of my cervix.

On Tuesday, I met
Heather downtown Toronto for a morning gab fest over hot chocolate veiled in savory whip cream and chai lattes. The first thing I noticed about her was her serene ocean blue eyes. Emanating warmth and kindness, they captivate your heart and wrap it in a blanket of warm fuzziness. Her spoken words are rich and meaningful, and she is so grounded and level headed that she makes me look like a babbling bubble of hot air floating the skies in aimless circles to nowhere by comparison. I’m so happy she was able to find the time in her busy schedule to meet up with me.

The Bad

My placenta is still too close to my cervix to make labour or delivery safe at this point. A c-section is still medically required so I don’t hemorrhage and lose my body’s blood supply faster than the collapse of Enron on the stock market.

My home scale is a deceitful bastard and I have gained more weight than it has let on.


The Very Ugly

A taxi cab rear ended me early this morning while I was stopped a red light. After a scary morning of monitoring at the hospital, I am now on high alert for signs of a placental abruption. My neck is a bit sore, and I have a headache that won’t go away, but the part that hurts the worst is my crushed heart. My baby has such a slight chance of survival outside the womb at this point if he needs to be born. The next few hours and days will either reveal nothing is wrong, or become a living nightmare of a premature baby’s struggle for survival.

This incident is yet another football kick in the temple to remind me how motherfucking frightening pregnancy can be and how helplessly out of control I feel.

I just hope the legacy of this, my third baby, does not end in a third loss.

Labels: ,

Permanent link to this entry




Comments:


Oh, Karla, you are in my prayers. How scary! I will definitely be praying for you!
 

Keep us posted. I am praying. Very scary. I REALLY REALLY hope and pray this baby is safe. My heart hurts, why you? You need this baby, this baby needs you. Oh Karla. I don't know what to say.

Hugs sent your way!
 

Oops, Superior Slate is really Donna. I need to sign out of that account.
 

Oh Karla, you will be in my prayers. I'm so sorry. I don't understand why this is happening to you. Life has dealt you a crazy deck of cards. I will pray for you often.
Keep us posted.
Posted by Anonymous stacey :  October 04, 2006
 

How awful for you Karla. It just isn't fair. I pray that your baby is safe and that you will have no further problems. Sorry you have to go through all this. Hang in there....
 

How awful for you Karla. It just isn't fair. I pray that your baby is safe and that you will have no further problems. Sorry you have to go through all this. Hang in there....
 

My thoughts and prayers are with you and your baby. I have been lurking on your site for quite some time now via Heather. I'm so glad that the two of you were able to meet! You are right about everything you said about her.
Posted by Blogger Linda :  October 04, 2006
 

I pray for you and your baby every night.
Posted by Anonymous Amanda :  October 04, 2006
 

Hi Karla,
I have been reading your blog for some time and have left comments occasionally. I have felt close to your story b/c mine has been so similar. I am also pregnant again, my 4th one, but only have one living child. I just had quite a bad bleeding scare last week and was told I have complete previa. I have been put on complete bed rest until the baby comes. I am only 18 1/2 weeks pregnant now, so that is a very long time from now. My sister's family has graciously taken in me and my family and she is now taking care of not only her children but me and my son as well. I guess I just wanted to pop on and say I know how scary placenta previa is, as the thought that I could lose this child bouncing in my tummy at any moment completely freaks me out. I'm not sure how I get through each day, but I do it becuase I have a great will and desire to see this pregnancy through whatever I have to and am determined to enjoy each moment this baby is inside of me, no matter what. I do still have moments that I am very negative, especially when I spot, but I have lots of friends and family that uplift me, and give me encouragement along the way. I encourage you to listen to the good words your friends here have to say and dwell on those things. I will send encouraging thoughts and lots of prayers your way.
Blessings to you.
Jennifer
Posted by Blogger Jfur :  October 04, 2006
 

I am praying that everything is ok. How scary!
Posted by Blogger TBG :  October 04, 2006
 

I was thinking of you when I passed your exit today. Rest, and try not to worry yourself.
Posted by Blogger Supervisor :  October 04, 2006
 

Karla,

You must be so scared! You do not deserve this and in your situation I just can not understand why this is happening to you right now. I am praying for you, and praying hard at that.

Please let us know how you are doing. I have had a sick feeling in my gut since I read this post this afternoon. I only know you through blogland, yet I am worried sick about you right now.

((hugs))
Melanie
Posted by Blogger Melanie :  October 04, 2006
 

Must.Increase.Juju.

Consider it done.
Posted by Blogger Gina :  October 04, 2006
 

karla,

I'm praying for u! and ur baby!!
Posted by Blogger rachael :  October 04, 2006
 

There are no words! Hugs and prayers are coming your way.
Posted by Blogger Cuppa :  October 04, 2006
 

Karla... even though you won't believe me, I need to say it anyway. Revel in the fact that you AND the baby are fine. You are good. You are being watched closely by your doctors.

As hard as it is to hear, please try not to worry. The stress of worry will not be good for the little guy. Instead surround your mind with quiet thoughts of blessings and thankfulness that you and baby bean are ok. Enjoy the rest of your pregnancy... don't worry. He's a fighter too! :)
Posted by Blogger aka_Meritt :  October 04, 2006
 

Thinking of you and your little man and sending all the love, hope, good thoughts I can.
Posted by Blogger Kristin :  October 04, 2006
 

OMG. There are no words to describe how your words touch me.
I am thinking and praying for you and your sweet baby.
Posted by Blogger Finelly :  October 05, 2006
 

Reflecting the other comments – we’ll keep praying for you and the little one.
Love the new look on the site, by the way, but people who use pictures of their dogs as their ID pictures …… hmmmm.
Posted by Blogger methatiam :  October 05, 2006
 

Praying that nothing is wrong.
Posted by Blogger Judy :  October 05, 2006
 

Thank you to everyone for your kind words, warm thoughts and prayers of hope. It truly means the world to me.
Posted by Blogger Karla :  October 05, 2006
 

I wish I could come to canada and punch the rearender myself....maybe I better stay here and just PRAY and PRAY for You, Nate, and Mark
Posted by Anonymous Anonymous :  October 05, 2006
 

Wow. You really do have to work hard at this pregnancy thing. I feel sure, though, that everything will be alright. I'm gonna bump up my "prayers for Karla" to code red. Surely the fact that your placenta has moved even in the slightest means that they're working a little bit, right?

I have to say, I also find that perhaps I'm thankful we don't really have taxi cabs around here.
Posted by Blogger Christi :  October 05, 2006
 

Everything will be fine.
I know this because I am an eternal optomist and also because I read your next post..
 

Karla..

You have seriously been in my thoughts daily. Just wanted you to know.

Beth
Posted by Blogger Beth :  October 05, 2006
 

Do you remember being rear-ended in the parking lot at Yorkdale?!?

No comparison, I know.

Sending love your way. See you soon.

xo
Posted by Blogger Jen & Co. :  October 05, 2006
 

Oh dear,
I hope you are ok. I was just rear-ended about a month ago now and it was the worse feeling ever. I had both my kids with me and when I got hit Ethan let out this loud scream. I was so scared. Thank God we were ok but I do know what you mean about that headache.

I was just in Pickering last Sunday and we went shopping at the pickering flea market. I know you must know about that. I saw something there and thought of you the minute I saw it.
It was a painting of this little girl holding a pink balloon. You didn't get to see the little girls face because he has her back to you but it was the cutest painting and the minute my eyes looked at it I thought of you and EVA. I so wish I could have gotten it for you. But sadly I just didn't have the money for it.

YOu are always in my thoughts and I pray GOD with do all in his powers to help you along with this baby boy you are holding. Just put your faith in him.
BIG HUGS and hope you are doing ok.
Tammy
Posted by Blogger Tammy :  October 05, 2006
 

Wow! I think I'll save that description of me to re-read on one of those days when my self esteem has been kicked in the teeth! I'm flattered!

And you are HARDLY a babbling bubble of hot air! Nothing about that description fits the person I was lucky enough to meet.

The accident really, really sucks. I sincerely hope that's the last road bump along your journey to becoming a mom.
Posted by Blogger Heather :  October 06, 2006
 


advertisement




Search Untangling Knots:


Search Results:

Wednesday, October 04, 2006




Recently
Monday, October 02, 2006
Sunday, October 01, 2006
Friday, September 29, 2006
Wednesday, September 27, 2006
Tuesday, September 26, 2006
Monday, September 25, 2006
Wednesday, September 20, 2006
Tuesday, September 19, 2006
Friday, September 15, 2006
Thursday, September 14, 2006