Butterfly Kisses
by Karla ° Monday, June 12, 2006

On Sunday I held a stunningly sleepy Monarch butterfly in my hands. I stood in a crowd of hundreds of people who understood what it is like to lose a baby. I stood with my husband in my arms, and we released two beautiful butterflies for the two tiny lives that we never had a chance to know.

I was expecting a large cloud of graceful fluttering when we released our butterflies, but instead, we were all charmed and amazed as our tiny little symbols of ephemeral physical existence danced and drifted merrily around us, some even bravely pausing on a shoulder or in the palm of our hands. As a creature that can be torn apart from a hard rain, their brief lingering felt like an acknowledgement of our loss and understanding of the fragility of life.

As I watched my little butterfly flutter off to destinations unknown, I couldn’t help but wonder if death is not something like the dormant cocoon that a caterpillar makes before emerging as something more beautiful and grand.

I like to think Ava’s spirit is lingering on in a place where we’ll meet again someday.

I like to think that my darling little butterfly is waiting patiently to share with me the joyous wonders and beauty of her transformation into an existence I just can’t even begin to understand.

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I am absolutely positive that she is!
Posted by Blogger Gina :  June 12, 2006

What a neat thing to do in rememberance of your babes.
Posted by Blogger Donna :  June 12, 2006

Oh Karla - my heart skipped a beat when I started reading this, because butterflies have always been my symbol of hope and connection with our son Matthew as well. In fact, on the Mother's Day after we lost him, we were having supper on the deck outside, and there was a very docile butterfly that kept landing on our heads and shoulders. I said it was a sign from Matthew that he was still with us and that he wanted me to have a happy Mother's Day.

Thanks for sharing your post! Somewhere, Ava and Matthew are frollicking together in a heavenly playground.
Posted by Blogger Heather :  June 12, 2006

That is too cool and sweet. I don't think I'll ever look at butterflies the same again. I'm so glad you guys got to do that.
Posted by Blogger Christi :  June 12, 2006

How sweet. I love the idea of seeting butterflies free to signify loss... that's an increadible way of looking at things. Truly changes one's perspective.
Posted by Anonymous Robyn :  June 12, 2006

Thank you. Your blogs are amazing! :)
And yup I remember milk in bags from Alberta, though I don't remember there being chocolate.

Posted by Blogger Irene S :  June 12, 2006

what a nice post! :) it made me smile
Posted by Blogger rachael :  June 12, 2006

I think she's waiting for you too Karla.
Posted by Blogger Kristin :  June 12, 2006

Great post. Glad you shared it..

That is one of the most beautiful things I have ever heard. Thank you for being such an inspiration.

Those two beautiful, fragile creatures could not have been in better hands.
Posted by Blogger methatiam :  June 13, 2006

Butterflies are so beautiful and so symbolic, especially in this case. What a meaningful experience for you.
Posted by Blogger Anvilcloud :  June 13, 2006

So sweet! I am glad you and Mark were able to be part of the butterfly release!

You will see Ava again someday I really believe that!
Posted by Blogger TBG :  June 13, 2006

How beautiful. This post gave me chills.
Posted by Blogger Patyrish :  June 14, 2006

This made me cry.


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