A Dream
by Karla ° Friday, November 24, 2006

I truly believe that hope is what binds the tapestry of humanity, and each of us represents a thread carefully woven and interconnected within the complicated pattern of this existence in an intricate blueprint of strength and survival.

Last night I had my first dream about Nate and it has instilled in me a newfound sense of hope

I don’t recall every having a dream where I saw Ava’s face. I do however recall a distinct memory that kept looping over and over in my mind of her before she was born. To this day I still remember it vividly and although it’s just a flash of a daydream where I am watching her from behind as she excitedly skips off to her first day of school with a shiny new blue backpack draped across her shoulders and pigtails flapping buoyantly to the beat of her lively steps, the clarity and persistence of it still continues to haunt me, partially because this event never happened and yet it’s so notably ingrained in my mind and partially because I never got to see her face.

In my dream of Nate, he was born premature at 34 weeks but his lungs were strong and mighty. I heard the wail of his first cry and I saw the soft angelic tenderness of his face. I saw every last detail about him from the plump chubbiness of his cheeks, to the blueness of his eyes, to the roundness of his button nose and the dark tufts of hair not quite covering his entire head. I held him and there was no overwhelming sadness knowing that he was slowly dying, but only overwhelming happiness that he was vibrantly alive and well. He looked distinctly different and somewhat similar to Ava and absolutely perfect in every imaginable way.

I think I should take the positive nature of this dream and cling to it with every last fiber of my being.

I really need to believe that my little boy has found his thread on the human tapestry of life and has begun weaving his way into its ultimate design.

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Yes Karla, hold onto that HOPE.

Hoping with you!

Maybe that vision was of a daughter you may have in the future, maybe that is why you didn't see her face?? Hold onto that HOPE also.
Posted by Anonymous Donna :  November 24, 2006

Maybe this is your subconscious brain telling your heart that it's going to be ok and to just enjoy the rest of this pregnancy the best you can... don't worry mommy, try to enjoy this special time when I'm still in your tummy, relish every second and find joy in it and don't let fears override the happiness of the last few weeks of pregnancy. :)

PS: I believe Hope is so powerful I used it as the middle name of one of my children.

Ah, yes.

I do believe Nate will have a little sister named Hope in the future.

But, if not, the image of Hope is a powerful one.

Blessings to you on the 'home stretch' and stretch you will!

Judy - Anybody Home
Posted by Anonymous Anonymous :  November 24, 2006

Embrace it, Karla.
Posted by Blogger Gina :  November 24, 2006

It sounds like you are in a good place right now which is awesome as your body is preparing this boy to come into this world. I'm hoping right along with you!
Posted by Blogger Amber :  November 24, 2006

Hold on to that Karla and have peace in your heart to know that your little boy is going to be healthy and in your arms soon. Thinking of you always.
Posted by Anonymous Anonymous :  November 24, 2006

Oh Karla, I have so much hope for you and little Nate. Perhaps the hope of all of us out here in cyber-land, combined with your own hope, can carry you through to the day that he arrives.

Hugs. (Since I didn't get to give you one the day we met.)
Posted by Blogger Heather :  November 24, 2006

I'm glad you had such a wonderful, simple, loving dream of your dear son. He's going to be perfect when he's born, and soon after will be driving you guys perfectly crazy :-) I can't say it enough, I'm so excited for you guys!!!
I had crazy dreams when I was pregnant with my first...same dream, over and over, that I would forget her somewhere, or forget to feed her. I guess I was worried about being a new mommy :-)
Posted by Anonymous arlene :  November 24, 2006

Hi Karla,
I followed a link to your blog and read through a lot of your story the other day. I was so moved by your experience. Having experienced my own losses I cannnot tell you how much I want your dream to come true for you. I hope all goes well for you in the coming weeks. Looking forward to seeing your sweet Nate!
Posted by Blogger Robyn :  November 24, 2006

wonderful dream!! :)
Posted by Blogger rachael :  November 24, 2006

I can hardly wait until Nate is finally born and gets home with you..

You have such a nice way of writing these exeriences of yours. Sincerely looking forward to the day you post a picture of your new healthy, happy baby boy in just a few, short weeks! Your due date must be around my baby's 1st birthday (1/6).
Posted by Blogger Kate :  November 24, 2006

That makes me cry. In a happy way though.
I keep telling you, it's going to be ok. I don't know you personally, but I just have a good feeling about Nate.
I'm glad to hear you're having new-found feelings of hope. Keep that up.
Posted by Anonymous Finelly :  November 24, 2006

What a great dream!! Whatever you're on, I want some. Er ... on second thought ...

A lovely dream. Hold on tigtly to that hope, Karla. :)
Posted by Anonymous Amanda :  November 25, 2006

I believe that God is a great encourager and that he/she sent you that dream to get you through the last weeks of your pregnancy. Your first sentence was beautiful!
Posted by Blogger Linda :  November 25, 2006

I am a true believer in meaning in dreams. I have so much hope for you I might burst. :-)
Posted by Anonymous Kristin :  November 25, 2006

That is a great dream and I do believe in dreams. I will be holding on to that hope as well with you. HUGS. Nate will be here soon. I can't wait.
Posted by Blogger Tammy :  November 26, 2006

OK, this might be a little bizarre, but I dreamt about a week ago that I saw your picture on your BLOG with hubby and healthy baby and all smiles.

It was a very small piece of dream about other things, but I do remember seeing that image on a monitor in my dream.
Posted by Blogger methatiam :  November 27, 2006


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