This morning my mind started drifting to our upcoming holiday in the mountains and it suddenly occurred to me that we’re going to be boarding a plane again soon. We have certainly had our fair share of funny and foolish airport and airplane adventures. Although we haven’t joined the mile high club (yet), we’ve managed to have almost as much fun and adventure in an airport or airplane as we have while actually vacationing.

Four stories come to mind:
-- The story of being an accessory to a drug run.
-- An embarrassing baggage search
-- The (almost) cavity search
-- Experiencing a sunrise above the clouds.

Here is the first installment of this four part mini series of our airplane adventures: Please faster your seatbelts!

One of our more humorous adventures took place on a small little private charter plane in Jamaica. To set the stage for this little story, I think it’s important to point out the obvious about Jamaica. It is a country known for its cannabis (better known to most as pot). No Problem Mon! I smoked cigarettes at the time, not weed.

Our honeymoon destination was a resort in Negril, Jamaica (not Hedonism II as per Mark’s wishes, we compromised for the couples only resort next door).

Upon arrival at Montego Bay we decided to ditch the free Air Canada bus transportation to the resort and take a private charter plane instead. The bus ride was an hour and a half to Negril from Montego Bay and we were anxious to get our pale asses on the beach for some fun in the sun.

Feeling totally exhilarated to be in Jamaica, we depart the group and head over to Air Jamaica Mon! While journeying over to this section of the airport, a nice man drives up in an airport passenger bus and offers a ride over to the charter plane area. He also offered us all the drugs in the world. No thanks, but No Problem Mon!

We arrive; buy our tickets and someone offered to take our bags for us. They begin to prep the plane for take off, but we were “held up” while they waited for authorization. They inform us that it's No Problem Mon...just a few technicalities. There was a flurry of activity for a little while, until finally, we’re good to go.

The charter planes share the same runway as all the planes flying into Montego Bay. We were about to take off when the pilot looks to his left and there was a giant US Airways plane heading straight for us. It was then that I realized there was no sophisticated radio communication system to determine when to take off. It was essentially, look both ways before you cross the street, say a prayer, hope there are no oncoming planes and if you’re a passenger, try and ignore the alcoholic beverage in the pilots drink holder, close your eyes and hope for the best.

Once we were finally in the air, the charter plane ride to Negril was breathtaking as we flew over the most crystal clear blue water I have ever seen. The landing however, was the craziest I have ever seen. We landed on a local road! I’m glad there were no cars coming from the opposite direction!

Once we landed, two very big men ran up the plane. Silly girl that I am, I thought they were there to assist us off the plane. Was I ever wrong. They didn’t even acknowledge my husband or me as the pilot handed him a large brown envelope and yelled GO GO GO. The big burly men ran back to their vehicle and sped away.

We had just funded a drug run! GOOD!

Excellent way to start your honeymoon! Become an accessory in crime!

We celebrated our new criminal records by indulging in a flaming Bob Marley, the official "initiation" drink of the island, as soon as we arrived at the resort.

Meet Derek. The ULTIMATE bartender. He took care of us MON!

Labels: Vacation