1. He is fascinated by animal sound effects. “Moo”, “Oink Oink” and “woof woof” are among his favorites.

2. On the same note about audio sound effects, farting and burping noises do not phase him in the least. Not entirely shocking considering he is a male. This must be part of his testosterone normalcy.

3. He is the only mammal on the planet who can watch me dance like a fool when vacuuming without the slightest indication of shame or disgrace that I am responsible for his well being.

4. Much like his neurotic mother, he seems to have a fat phobia and limits his treat intake when he does something industrious, like shit outdoors for example. He appears to want nothing more than lavish praise and a drink of water.

5. His innocence of his surroundings is so endearing. He can lay the biggest fart without a blink of an eyelash or a shred of lost decency, and pounce on the hissiest and pissiest of the frosty household cat population without the tiniest shred of understanding that he is hated and unwelcome in their home.

6. He farts; a lot

7. He likes the taste of pant legs. Any material will do, but Hugo Boss appears to be his favorite, much to his father’s dismay.

8. At nighttime, baby monitors work wonders for baby pups undergoing crate training boot camp to communicate with shrieking yelps and whimpers that their hour long bladder holding tank limit is up.

9. Sometimes when the dog is sleeping the cats cautiously peer over him, undoubtedly questioning “Is it dead yet?”

10. I love him to pieces, razor sharp teeth, retardedly expensive vet bills, stinky poo, fleas and all.

Labels: Samson