| My Cat is a Diva |
My black cat is having a sexual identity crisis. He really needs to understand that I will love him no matter how inclined and drawn he is to drag, but he refuses to just sit down and frankly discuss his disposition and desire to wear makeup and don feathers.
It started out quite cute and simple.
Makeup sponges!
He would steak, lick, kick, caress and sleep with my makeup sponges. I should have realized he was beginning to manifest drag tendencies, but honestly, I thought he just liked the spongy texture and found his desire to cuddle with sponges cute.
Next, he started stealing my eyeshadow brushes. He would steal them and hide them, and when no one was looking, attack and suck on them until they were frayed and mangled beyond use.
 Recently, he started bringing my red feathered slippers out of the closet. I’m not sure if he is desperately trying to emanate symbolism here, but he drags the red feathers all through the house (sorry B$, I know they were a gift from you, but my cat just can’t stop himself), and sometimes poops them out as if to prove how much he loves soft feathery stuff.
The other day, after I went out on a limb and actually wore lingerie for hubs after his long week away from home, my cat somehow found my lace nighty, and nestled himself right next to it in the laundry. I swear I saw a grin on his face as he drooled over my lacy under things.
He even has a thing for strappy, sexy shoes. The other day, he stole my pointy toed heels and drooled all over and chewed up the pointy toed end of them. I mourned the loss of my sexy shoe purchase as he gleefully rubbed his nose up and down my leg expressing his new found desire and lustful fetish for the strange smells in my shoes.
He even makes me sing to him every day while I dump kibbles in his food dish. I need to chant and harmonize “It’s dinner for da cats” over and over and over before he wills himself to eat. Some days, he even refuses to eat unless I hand feed him kibbles.
Either he secretly has a crush on me and wants to wear my makeup, under things, and slippers to be like me, or, he has hit a defining moment in his life where he just really needs to honest with himself and admit he likes drag. That’s cool with me. He can love make up, feathers and strappy shoes, but I just need to understand these things so he stops stealing all of mine and I can buy him his own stuff to slurp, bite and droll on.
I’m sick and tired of all my makeup smelling like cat breath, discovering red feathers all over the house (and intermingled with cat poop), finding my cat cuddled with my laundry, and trying to entertain his persistant meowing and insistence to join me every time I sit on the toilet to pee.
Really, he just needs to be frank and discuss with me how he feels about his sexual identity because when I started finding red feathers in his poop, the cuteness of it all sorta lost its charm.
Labels: It's All About Me, Soapbox |
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If your kitty was a human he would be a "dirty old man". ;) Good thing he's cute and fluffy and loved. :)
I thought I was going to scroll down and find him all dressed up. I would have to report you to BETA.
lol! Your cat rules!! I watched this show called animal psychic and there was a giraffe from a petting zoo that would grab at womens jewelry ALL the time!
The AP came over and discovered that the giraffe wanted to be star of the show! In fact, she gave the giraffe her leopard scarf that she was wearing and he wore it so proud and literally held his head high! lol
After that, they gave the giraffe hats and scarfs to wear and he STOPPED pecking at other women's jewelry! He was jealous! haha
This is too funny! My cats also like to go into the bathroom with me and even want to sit on my lap! They also take my blushbrushes and hairbands (their favorite). I just love them, they are so unique.
Cat's are so neat. Each is so unique. Yours seems to be uniquer that others. Well he would be uniquer if there was such a thing.
We have one girl and two boy cats and on girl and two boy dogs. Our Ronnie Mcdonnie is much like your cat in actions. He loves my feather duster.
looks to me like you should lock the doors at night or he might be going out and bringing his boy/girlfriends home.
All I can say is that's just scary!
Hi,
I also have a big black cat and let me tell you he has some weird fettishes also. He too loves my shoes and most of all this huge teddy bear that I won at a carnival. He drags is all over the house with him like it is his long lost buddy. When we go and leave him for a while he drags that thing out and sucks on it. When you come in from outside he lays on your shoes as if to tell you never leave me alone again. Cats are funny each one different in their own way.
I think the feather/poop combo would have about done me in.
I was ready to see a picture of your cat all dressed up.
That would have been so funny.
My sister's cat and a friend of mine's cat are also obsessed with makeup brushes. My sister's cat is the sweetest most good natured cat in the world, until it finds a makeup brush and it will do anything to keep that thing.
Cats like those things because they smell like their owner. All of the things your cat loves, are all things that would have your scent on them. It just happens that all the things you own are also feminine. You are so fancy.
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Jaime : August 09, 2005 
